WEDDING CEREMONIES

Wedding cake

2008-03-28T14:03:00.001-07:00

Wedding cake

For the Rome monument known as the wedding cake, see Monument to Vittorio Emanuele II.

A contemporary White wedding cake

A German wedding cake

A wedding cake is the traditional cake served to the guests at a wedding reception (or in parts of England, at a wedding breakfast) after a wedding. In modern western culture, it is usually a large cake, multi-layered or tiered, and heavily decorated with icing, occasionally over a layer of marzipan or fondant, topped with a small statue representing the couple. Other common motifs include doves, gold rings and horseshoes, the latter symbolising good luck. Achieving a dense, strong cake that can support the decorations while remaining edible can be considered the epitome of the baker's art and skill. The average cost of a wedding cake in the U.S. in 2005 was $543.^[1]

Tradition generally requires that the first cut of the cake be performed by bride and groom together, often with a ceremonial knife or even a sword. An older, archaic tradition had the bride serve all portions to the groom's family as a symbolic transfer of her household labor from her family to the groom's family.

Tradition may also dictate that the bride and groom feed the first bites of this cake to each other. Again, this may symbolize the new family unit formed and the replacement of the old parent-child union.

Other guests may then partake of the cake, portions may be taken home or shipped to people who missed the festivities. (An old tradition held that if a bridesmaid slept with a piece of wedding cake beneath her pillow she might dream of her future husband.)

A portion may be stored, and eaten by the couple at their first wedding anniversary, or at the christening of their first child. Sometimes this portion is the top tier, and sometimes a portion of the piece from which the bride and groom fed each other, depending on the local customs. The portion of the cake may be frozen for this purpose; the top tier of the cake may sometimes consist of fruitcake, which could be stored for a great length of time.

1 History
2 Modern adaptions
3 See also
4 References
5 External links

History

A couple cutting a cake.

The origins of the tradition of the wedding cake date back to medieval times, when each guest at a wedding was supposed to bring a small cake, the cakes would be stacked on the table in levels and layers (If the bride and groom were able to kiss over the top of the stack it was considered good luck). These cake stacks would eventually merge into one cake and evolve into the modern wedding cake. Sweets are traditional at many celebrations for most if not all cultures worldwide. Ancient Roman records detail sweets distributed at weddings. The book Folklore Myths and Legends of Britain details the ancient Roman practice of dropping a wedding cake on the head of the bride. Medieval and Renaissance resources also mention large cakes at weddings. Such cakes may have been fruitcake.

A large cake can take a long time to make, and without modern refrigeration, a heavy fat and sugar frosting may have prevented spoilage by limiting moisture exposure. Another possibility is the use of sugar and fat required satisfying the need for conspicuous consumption for the families involved in the wedding.

The tiered design of the wedding cake originates from the tiered spire of a well known medieval church in London, England, called St Bride's Church.

Henry VIII of England enacted a law specifying the quantity of sugar a cake may have, possibly to control or tax this prevailing convention.

During World War II, sugar was rationed in Great Britain, so icing could not be made, and cakes were reduced in size. To overcome this cakes were often served inside a box, which had been decorated with plaster of Paris, to resemble a larger, traditional cake.

Modern adaptions

White chocolate cupcakes arranged for a wedding.

Recently some western weddings have started to use cupcakes or other individually sized dessert items in place of a larger tiered cake. These individual cakes are often arranged in tiers to represent the shape of the traditional tiered cake.

Wedding cake toppers are small models that sit on top of the cake, normally a representation of a bride and groom in formal wedding attire. This custom was dominant in US wedding in the 1950s where it represented togetherness.^[2] Modern weddings have embraced more variety in design and significance. Wedding toppers today are often figures that indicate shared hobbies or other passions.^[2]

Not all wedding cakes are traditional - this is a novelty wedding cake depicting the newly married couple.

Wedding photography

2008-03-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

Wedding photography

Wedding photography is a major commercial endeavor that supports the bulk of the efforts for many photography studios or independent photographers.

Photography Portal

1 History
2 Technology
3 Approaches
4 Albums, prints, and other products
5 Profession
6 Professional organizations
7 References
8 External links

History

A 1942 wedding with bride in traditional long white wedding dress.

Like the technology of photography itself, the practice of wedding photography has evolved and grown since the invention of the art form in 1826 by Joseph Nicéphore Niépce. In fact, an early photograph, recorded some 14 years after the fact, may be a recreation for the camera of the 1840 wedding of Queen Victoria to Prince Albert. However in the early days of photography, most couples of more humble means did not hire a photographer to record the actual wedding itself. Until the later half of the 19th century, most people didn’t pose for formal wedding photos during the wedding. Rather they might pose for a formal photo in their best clothes before or after a wedding. In the late 1860s, more couples started posing in their wedding clothes or sometimes hired a photographer to come to the wedding venue. (See the gallery at White wedding.)

Due to the nature of the bulky equipment and lighting issues, wedding photography was largely a studio practice for most of the late 1800s. Over time, technology improved, but many couples still might only pose for a single wedding portrait. Wedding albums started becoming more commonplace towards the 1880s. By then, the photographer would start including the wedding party in the photographs. Often the wedding gifts would be laid out and recorded in the photographs as well.^[1]

In the beginning of the 20th century, color photography became available, but color photography was still too unreliable and expensive so most wedding photography was still practiced in black and white. The concept of capturing the wedding "event" came about after the Second World War. Using film roll technology and improved lighting techniques available with the invention of the compact flash bulb, often photographers would simply show up at a wedding and try to sell the photos later. Despite the initial low quality photographs that often resulted, the competition forced the studio photographers to start working on location.

Initially, professional studio photographers might bring a lot of bulky equipment, thus limiting their ability to record the entire event. Even candid photos were more often staged after the ceremony. In the 1970s the more modern approach to recording the entire wedding event started evolving into the practice as we know it today.^[2]

[edit] Technology

During the film era, photographers favored color negative film and medium-format cameras, especially by Hasselblad. Today, many more weddings are photographed with digital SLR cameras as the digital convenience provides quick detection of lighting mistakes and allows creative approaches to be reviewed immediately.

In spite of diminishing film use, some photographers continue to shoot with film as they prefer the film aesthetic, while others are of the opinion that negative film captures more information than digital technology, with less margin for exposure error. Certainly true in some cases, it should be noted that exposure latitude inherent in a camera's native RAW image format (which allows for more under- and over- exposure than JPEG^[3]) varies from manufacturer to manufacturer. All forms of RAW have a degree of exposure latitude which exceeds slide film - to which digital capture is commonly compared.

Currently however, it is fair to say that many professional labs have a greater capacity to provide services in post-production for film compared with digital^{[citation needed]}, such as quickly generate adequate prints in the event of some over- or under- exposure. This should change over time, with manufacturers like Kodak announcing a commitment to further develop streamlined services in the area of professional digital lab output.

Technology has evolved with the use of remote triggers and flashes. Wedding photographers are now able to take advantage of travelling light and having the ability to use creative lighting.

Approaches

Bride&groom in a park. Editorial style. Subjects are posed in photojournalistic style .

A photojournalistic wedding image capturing the drama of the moment.

There are two primary approaches to wedding photography that are recognized today: Traditional and Photojournalistic. Traditional wedding photography provides for more classically posed images and a great deal of photographer control and interaction on the day of the wedding. Photojournalistic wedding photography takes its cue from editorial reporting styles and focuses more on candid and unposed images with little photographer interaction. These are two extremes and many of today's photographers will fall somewhere in the middle of these two styles.

A third style that is becoming more and more in demand is a fashion-based approach. In contemporary/fashion-based wedding photography, photojournalistic images of the events of the day are combined with posed images that are inspired by editorial fashion photography as would be found in magazines like Vogue or Vanity Fair.

A bride arriving at the venue, with her father also in the car. The black and white texture, together with her expression, and the composition of the photograph make for a picture that evokes some of the emotion from the day.

The term contemporary wedding photography is used to describe wedding photography that is not of a traditional nature. The emphasis in contemporary photography is to capture the story and atmosphere from the day, so the viewer has an appreciation of what the wedding was like, rather than a series of pre-determined poses. However, this term can be mistaken for meaning any photograph that is not posed or formal. The advent and advancement of digital cameras and increased use of the internet mean that many people can offer their services as a wedding photographer. However, contemporary wedding photography is more than just not taking very formal photographs and involves the use of composition, lighting and timing to capture photographs that have a strong visual appeal.

There is some uncertainty over what constitutes contemporary and how this differs from other forms of wedding photography. The PSA Journal, March 1994, records a debate on this subject.^[4]. This highlights the difficulty with the word contemporary when defining photographic expression, as some feel this term is not sufficiently defined. For example, is photojournalism contemporary or are they different? Photojournalism is easier to define, as the term infers the photography is by its nature similar to journalism, where the emphasis is upon reporting and recording events in a newsworthy manner, whereas contemporary may include an element of photojournalism but is not exclusively that style of photography.

Albums, prints, and other products

A contemporary wedding photographer will usually need to provide some or all of the following:

Formal portraiture in the studio (for either the wedding and/or the engagement photos).
Outdoor photography (often at a park, beach or scenic location on the day of the wedding and/or for engagement photos).
Indoor photography at a church, temple or other private venue during the ceremony and reception.
Both posed and candid (photojournalistic) shots of the wedding couple and their guests at the religious or civil ceremony and the reception that follows.
Digital services such as digital prints or slides shows.
Albums (either traditional or the more contemporary flush mount type of album).

A sample two-page spread from a contemporary flush mount wedding album.

The range of deliverables that a wedding photographer presents is varied. There is no standard as to what is included in a wedding coverage or package, so products vary regionally and from photographer to photographer, as do the number of images provided.

Most photographers provide a set of proofs (usually unretouched, edited images) for the clients to view. Photographers may provide hard copy proofs in the form of 4x5 or 4x6 prints, a "magazine" of images with thumbnail sized pictures on multiple pages, an online proof gallery, images on CD or DVD in the form of a gallery or a slideshow, or a combination of the above. Some photographers provide these proofs for the client to keep, and some photographers require the client to make final print choices from the proofs and then return them or purchase them at an additional cost.

There are a wide variety of albums and manufacturers available and photographers may provide traditional matted albums, digitally designed "coffee table" albums, contemporary flush mount albums, hardbound books, scrapbook style albums or a combination of any of the above. Albums may be included as part of a pre-purchased package, or they may be added as an after-wedding purchase. Not all photographers provide albums; some may prefer to provide prints and/or files and let clients make their own albums.

Most photographers allow clients to purchase additional prints for themselves or their families. Many photographers now provide online sales either through galleries located on their own websites or through partnerships with other vendors. Those vendors typically host the images and provide the back end sales mechanism for the photographer; the photographer sets his or her own prices and the vendor takes a commission or charges a flat fee.

With the increased ability of consumers to scan images and get high quality prints with inexpensive scanners and printers, some photographers are also including high resolution files in their packages. These photographers allow their clients limited rights to reproduce the images for their personal use, while retaining the copyright. Not all photographers release files and those who do will most likely charge a premium for them, since releasing files means giving up any after wedding print or album sales for the most part.

Photographers who do not retain copyright of the images often charge more for their services. In these cases the photographer provides the client with the digital images as part of the wedding package. The client then has unrestricted use of the images and can print any they may desire.

Profession

A bride and groom are posed for this location shot using available lighting during the pre-twilight moments of the day due to the desirable soft lighting effects.

The wedding photography industry is home to some of the most respected names within the photography industry, including celebrity wedding photographer Joe Buissink, New York based Christian Oth, California's Mike Colon, Canada's Jesh De Rox, The Bebb's and Denis Reggie. Some of these figures were recently listed in PopPhoto's Top 10 Wedding Photographers in the World.^[5] These figures represent the historical rise of wedding photojournalism, fashion, couture-style portraits and all digital work-flow.

As a wedding is a one-time event, the photographer must be prepared for the unexpected. Shooting a wedding is both exhausting and invigorating as the photographer is constantly looking for good angles and opportunities for candid shots. Communication and planning time lines before the event will alleviate many of the stresses associated with photographing a wedding. An ability to tactfully take charge also helps - particularly when photographing large groups or families - a common expectation after the ceremony. Having a run list with all of the expected shots is also a useful tool. A photographer may work with an assistant who can carry equipment, arrange guests and assist in the shooting through clothing adjustments or the holding up of reflectors.

Wedding photographers usually have an office or studio which can double as a retail photography studio. In bigger cities you might find dedicated wedding studios that only shoot weddings and may have large studios equipped with make-up and hair and gowns ready for the bride to wear. Some studios also have arrangements with bridal shops allowing the bride to try several gowns during her portrait session.

Professional organizations

Organizations such as the Professional Photographers of America (PPA) and Wedding and Portrait Photographers International (WPPI) support the art and business of wedding photography. Standards and requirements for professional organizations vary, but membership often indicates a photographer is insured which means if they should lose or ruin a large number of images, they can compensate such errors for their clients. Professional organizations offer training, professional competition, and support to members as well as directory services to help with marketing.

Wedding ring

2008-03-28T13:48:00.000-07:00

Wedding ring

A wedding ring or wedding band consists of a precious metal ring. In certain countries it is worn on the base of the left ring finger. In other parts of the world, it is worn on the right ring finger (see Post-wedding customs below).

Traditionally, in India and those practicing Hinduism, a toe ring or bichiya is worn instead of a ring on a finger.

Such a ring symbolizes marriage: a spouse wears it to indicate a marital commitment to fidelity. The European custom of wearing such a ring has spread widely beyond Europe.

A white gold wedding ring.

1 Traditional customs
- 1.1 Pre-wedding customs
- 1.2 Wedding ceremony customs
- 1.3 Post-wedding customs
- 1.4 Post funeral
2 Contemporary usage
3 Materials
4 Styles, patterns, fashions
5 Wedding ceremonies that reference rings
6 References
7 See also

Traditional customs

Pre-wedding customs

According to some customs, the wedding ring forms the last in a series of gifts, which also may include the engagement ring, traditionally given as a betrothal present. Other more recent traditions, encouraged by the jewelry trade, seek to expand the idea of a series of ring-gifts with the promise ring, often given when serious courting begins, and the eternity ring, which symbolizes the renewal or ongoing nature of a lasting marriage, sometimes given after the birth of a first child; and a trilogy ring, usually displaying three brilliant-cut round diamonds each, in turn, representing the past, present and future of a relationship.

A European tradition encourages the engraving of the name of one's intended spouse and the date of one's intended marriage on the inside surface of wedding rings, thus strengthening the symbolism and sentimentality of the rings as they become family heirlooms.

Among Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Christians, the exchange of rings are not technically part of the wedding service, but rather are exchanged at the betrothal. It is always a two-ring ceremony. Traditionally, the groom's ring will be made of gold, and the bride's ring made of silver,^[1] and are blessed by the priest with holy water. The priest blesses the groom with the bride's ring, and places it on the ring finger of his left hand; he then blesses the bride with the groom's ring and places it on her finger. The rings are then exchanged three times either by the priest or by the best man.^[2] While in modern times, the ceremony of betrothal is often performed immediately before the wedding (or "crowning" as it is more properly called), the actual symbolic act of marriage is not the exchange of rings, but the placing of crowns on the head of the bride and groom, and their partaking three times of the "common cup".

Wedding ceremony customs

In British tradition, the best man has a traditional duty of keeping track of a marrying couple's wedding ring(s) and to produce them at the symbolic moment of the giving and receiving of the ring(s) during the traditional marriage ceremony.

In more elaborate weddings, a ring bearer (usually a young boy that is part of the family of the bride or groom) may assist in the ceremonial parading of the ring(s) into the ceremony, often on a special cushion or pillow(s).

In older times, the wedding rings did not only signify a sign of love, but were also linked to the bestowal of 'earnest money'. According to the prayer book of Edward VI: after the words 'with this ring I thee wed' follow the words 'This gold and silver I give thee', at which point the groom was supposed to hand a leather purse filled with gold and silver coins to the bride. ^[3]

Not only in England was the wedding ring considered more connected to the exchange of valuables at the moment of the wedding than a symbol of eternal love and devotion but in most other European countries as well. Sometimes it went as far as being a conditional exchange as this German formula shows: 'I give you this ring as a sign of the marriage which has been promised between us, provided your father gives with you a marriage portion of 1000 Reichsthalers'. ^[3]

In some European countries, the wedding ring is the same as the engagement ring and changes its status through engraving and the change of the hand on which to wear it. If the wedding ring is different from the engagement ring, the question whether or not the engagement ring should be worn during the ceremony leaves a few options. The bride may wear it on her left ring finger and have the groom put the wedding band over it. She may also wear it on her right ring finger. The bride may also continue wearing the rings on different hands after the wedding – this may prevent the engagement ring from scratching and scuffing. Another option is to have the main bridesmaid keep the ring during the ceremony – there are a variety ways to keep it: in a pouch, on a plate, etc. After the ceremony, the ring can be placed back on either the left or the right hand.

Post-wedding customs

In some Western countries (UK, other Commonwealth nations, Ireland, the United States, Mexico, Brazil, Iran, Chile, Italy, France, Sweden, and Slovenia), the wedding ring is worn on the left hand. This choice of finger relates to traditions purportedly dating to classical times, from an early usage reportedly referring to the fourth finger of the left hand as containing the vena amoris or "vein of love"^[4]. At least in part due to this tradition, it became acceptable to wear the wedding ring on this finger. By wearing rings on the fourth finger of their left hands, a married couple symbolically declares their eternal love for each other. This has now become a matter of tradition and etiquette in these countries.

In other countries such as Germany, Greece, Russia, Spain, Slovakia, India, Colombia, Venezuela, and Poland, however, it is worn on the right hand. Orthodox Christians and Eastern Europeans also traditionally wear the wedding band on the right hand. Jewish couples wear the wedding ring on the left hand, even though it is placed on the right hand during the marriage ceremony. In The Netherlands, Catholic people wear it on the left, all others on the right; in Austria, Catholic people wear it on the right. In Belgium, the choice of hand depends on the region of the country. Greek people, many being Orthodox Christians, also wear the wedding rings on the right hand in keeping with Greek tradition. A traditional reason to wear the wedding ring on the right hand stems from Roman custom. The Latin word for left is "sinister", which in addition to this sense also has the same senses as the English word. The Latin word for right is "dexter", a word that evolved into "dexterity". Hence, the left hand had a negative connotation and the right a good one.

Post funeral

Although in law, and in most religions, a marriage ends on first death, conventions (and perceived symbolism) around the wearing of wedding rings after a partner's death vary considerably. Traditions include the surviving spouse continuing to wear their own wedding ring after their partner's death, but on the ring finger of the other hand; removing their wedding ring at their partner's funeral; and taking charge of, and wearing (sometimes on the same finger as their own), their dead partner's ring. In many cultures, the length of time and way in which a surviving spouse wears their ring is not dictated by a common custom, but varies by family tradition and choice of the surviving spouse.

Contemporary usage

In the United Kingdom and the United States in past generations, women wore wedding bands much more commonly than men did. Today, both partners often wear wedding rings, though for work-related reasons, personal comfort or safety a spouse may remove it from time to time. Others may object to the idea of precious metals, or dislike the idea of declaring their legal status through jewelry. Either partner may also wear a wedding ring on a chain around the neck, thus conveying the socially equivalent message to wearing it on a finger.

The double-ring ceremony, or use of wedding rings for both partners, is a relatively recent innovation. The American jewellery industry started a marketing campaign aimed at encouraging this practice in the late 19th century.^[5] Learning from marketing lessons of the 1920s, changing economic times, and the impact of World War II, led to a more successful marketing campaign, and by the late 1940s, double-ring ceremonies made up for 80% of all weddings, as opposed to 15% before the Great Depression.^[6]

One interpretation states that the woman wears the wedding ring below the engagement ring, thus making it closer to the heart. Another practice holds that the woman should wear the wedding ring above the engagement ring, thus sealing the atmosphere of the engagement into the marriage. Still others prefer that the wedding ring should be worn alone. Further, modern ring sets in the United States are often marketed as a three-piece set, including the man's wedding band, the woman's engagement ring, and a slender band that is mounted to the engagement ring before the wedding, converting it into a single, permanent wedding ring.

Materials

Most religious marital ceremonies accept a band of any material to symbolize the taking of marriage vows, with unusual substitutions permitted in marriages under unusual circumstances.

To make wedding rings, jewellers most commonly use a precious yellow alloy of gold, hardened with copper, tin and bismuth. Platinum and white alloys of gold are also used, although the slightly yellow "white" gold alloys of the past have been largely replaced by a cheaper nickel-gold alloy, covered with a thin plating of rhodium which must be reapplied after some years of wear. Titanium has recently become a popular material for wedding bands, due to its durability, affordability, and gunmetal grey colour. Tungsten carbide, often with gold or platinum inlays, is recently being used as well. The least expensive material in common use is nickel silver for those who prefer its appearance or cost. Marrying couples are also beginning to use stainless steel, which has the same durability as platinum or titanium, and can accept a finer finish than the latter. Silver, copper, brass and other cheaper metals do not occur as frequently because they corrode over time and thus do not convey a sense of permanence. Aluminium or poisonous metals are almost never used.

Contrary to popular urban legend, titanium rings can be removed quite easily using a jeweller's ring cutter or specialized ring opening pliers.

Styles, patterns, fashions

A 14th century Jewish wedding ring

A plain gold band is the most popular pattern. Medical personnel commonly wear it because it can be kept very clean. Women usually wear narrow bands, while men wear broader bands.

In France and French-speaking countries, a common pattern consists of three interwoven rings. They stand for the Christian virtues of "faith, hope and love", where "love" equates to that particular type of perfect disinterested love indicated by the ancient Greek word agape. Provocatively, this pattern slides off quickly, because the rings flow over each other.

Women in Greek and Anatolian cultures sometimes receive and wear puzzle rings – sets of interlocking metal bands that one must arrange just so in order to form a single ring. Men wryly give them as a test of their woman's monogamy. Even when the woman masters the puzzle, she still cannot remove and replace the ring quickly.

In North America and some European countries, many married women wear two rings on the same finger: an engagement ring and a plain wedding band. Couples often purchase such rings as a pair of bands designed to fit together. In addition, some women who have been married a long time wear three rings on their finger (from hand to tip): a wedding band, an engagement ring, and an eternity ring. This three-ring combination is especially common in the UK.

Engraving wedding bands is also becoming very popular in the United States.

Celtic-style wedding bands have become more popular in the U.S., Canada and other English-speaking countries with large numbers of people claiming Irish or Scottish descent. This style of wedding band will often be engraved or embossed with a Celtic knot design, which is meant to symbolize oneness and continuity. Sometimes a Claddagh design is also used to symbolize fidelity.

Russian wedding rings are traditionally three interlocking bands of rose, white and yellow gold, worn on the right hand.[1]

Wedding ceremonies that reference rings

Church of England (1662 Book of Common Prayer) - "With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."^[7]
Jewish - "With this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel." - Said in Hebrew by the groom at an Orthodox Jewish wedding and by both the bride and groom at a Reform Jewish wedding
Roman Catholic - "N., take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."^[8]
Greek Orthodox - "The servant of God (N.) is betrothed to the handmaid of God (N.), in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." - from the Greek Orthodox Service of Betrothal, part of the Mysterion of Holy Matrimony, said while the Priest makes the Sign of the Cross with the rings over the bridegroom's head

Wedding invitation

2008-03-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

Wedding invitation

Modern Wedding Invitation

Mix of wedding invitations

A wedding invitation is a letter asking the recipient to attend a wedding. It is typically mailed four to six weeks before the wedding date. Wedding invitations may be printed using one of the following methods: engraving, lithography, thermography, letterpress printing and sometimes blind embossing. They can be ordered from an artist, or vendor, specializing in invitations. For the artistically inclined, they can be handmade.

Often, wedding invitations are mailed in double envelopes. The inner envelope may be lined, is not gummed, and fits into the outer envelope. The outer envelope is gummed for sealing and addressing. Tissues are often provided by manufacturers to place over the engraved text, originally this tissue protected the engraving against smudging or blotting, but improved printing techniques mean they are now simply decorative.^[1] Traditionally, the mother of the bride addresses the wedding invitations. However, if she chooses not to, the mother of the bride may outsource this responsibility to a professional calligrapher or a friend with good penmanship.

In countries that issue them, the envelope may be franked with love stamps. The United States postal service issues a love stamp each year specifically denominated to cover the double weight of the invitation and reply (a rate slightly less than the cost of two regular stamps).

1 Response card
2 Other items
3 Save The Date
4 References
5 In pop culture
6 See also

Response card

Along with the wedding invitation, the ensemble may also include a response card and envelope. The response card is traditionally used for gathering totals for the caterer and getting a general number of guests attending. The recipient is asked to mail back the response card roughly three weeks before the wedding or by the date indicated. The envelope is pre-addressed and pre-stamped by the wedding party for ease. A new more modern option is sending the response card as a pre-addressed and pre-stamped post card. Using the post card eliminates the need for an inner envelope for less formal weddings.

Other items

Other pieces often included in the ensemble are the reception card or folder, map or direction card, and accommodation information. The reception card simply lists the addresses and times of any post-wedding events, such as a cocktail hour, dinner or dance. Map or direction cards provide details about the location of the wedding and reception. The accommodation information gives helpful tips about airfare, transportation or hotel arrangements for out-of-town guests. Local attractions may be featured as well. Often the accommodation information is sent in advance with the save the dates.

Save The Date

A save the date is similar to an invitation and is mailed up to one year before the wedding date. Save the dates simply announce that the wedding date has been set and encourages recipients to plan for the event. It is not used as a substitute for the wedding invitation and typically mentions that an invitation will follow. The save the date can also allow you to let guests know what area of the country the wedding will be held. Save the Date cards are only necessary for weddings that occur on holidays or destination weddings. They are an optional piece for weddings not occurring on holidays or destination weddings.

Participants in wedding ceremonies

2008-03-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

Participants in wedding ceremonies

In a traditional wedding, the wedding party refers to the group of people participating in the ceremony with the bride and groom (formally, bridegroom). The bridal party consists of the maid of honor (matron of honor if she is married) and the bridesmaids. The groom is accompanied by the best man and the groomsmen. Finally, any flower girls and page boys (including the ringbearer) are traditionally included in the wedding party.

1 Bride
- 1.1 Attire
- 1.2 History
2 Groom
- 2.1 Etymology
- 2.2 Customs
3 Bridesmaid / Maid (Matron) of Honor
- 3.1 North America
- 3.2 United Kingdom
4 Best man
- 4.1 Duties
- 4.2 Best man in various cultures
5 Bridesmaids
- 5.1 "Bridesmaid" as an idiomatic term
6 Groomsmen
- 6.1 Gifts
7 Flower Girls
8 Page Boys
- 8.1 Ringbearer
9 Officiant/Celebrant
10 Gallery
11 External links
12 References

Bride

"Bride" redirects here. For other uses, see Bride (disambiguation).

Bride

A bride is a female participant in a wedding ceremony: a woman about to be married, currently being married, or, in some uses, very recently married (applicable during the first year of wifehood). The term used to mean 'daughter-in-law', as newly married women at one time moved into the husband's family home. Further back, the word possibly comes from the Teutonic word for 'cook'.^[1] A bride is typically attended by one or more bridesmaids or maids of honor. Her partner, if male, is the bridegroom or "groom", after the wedding, in marriage, her husband. In same-gender weddings, two feminine participants may both be termed brides. In some cultures, successful sexual intercourse between the bride and bridegroom is a required step to complete ("consummate") the wedding ceremony.

Attire

In Europe and North America, the typical attire for a bride is a formal dress and sometimes a tiara. Usually, the dress is bought only for the wedding, and never worn again. For first marriages, a white wedding dress is usually worn, a tradition started by Queen Victoria's wedding. Etiquette once prescribed that a white dress should not be worn for subsequent marriages, since the wearing of white was mistakenly regarded by some as an ancient symbol of virginity, despite the fact that wearing white is a fairly recent development in wedding traditions. Today, brides may wear white, cream, or ivory dresses for any number of marriages; the color of the dress is not a comment on the bride's sexual history. In fact, up until the 19th century, the bride generally wore her best dress, whatever color it was, or ordered a new dress in her favorite color and expected to wear it again.

In addition to the gown, the bride often wears a veil and carries a bouquet of flowers. A garter may also be worn by the bride, and later removed by the groom during the reception (US).

History

A photograph of a wedding party probably from the late 1870s to 1880s.(Note the black or dark colored wedding dress which was common during the early to mid 19th century.)

The term appears in combination with many words, some of them obsolete. Thus "bridegroom" is the newly married man, and "bride-bell," "bride-banquet" are old equivalents of wedding-bells, wedding-breakfast. "Bridal" (from Bride-ale), originally the wedding-feast itself, has grown into a general descriptive adjective, e.g. the bridal party, the bridal ceremony. The bride-cake had its origin in the Roman confarreatio, a form of marriage, the essential features of which were the eating by the couple of a cake made of salt, water and spelt flour, and the holding by the bride of three wheat-ears, a symbol of plenty.

Under Tiberius the cake-eating fell into disuse, but the wheat ears survived. In the middle ages they were either worn or carried by the bride. Eventually it became the custom for the young girls to assemble outside the church porch and throw grains of wheat over the bride, and afterwards a scramble for the grains took place. In time the wheat-grains came to be cooked into thin dry biscuits, which were broken over the bride's head, as is the custom in Scotland to-day, an oatmeal cake being used. In Elizabeth's reign these biscuits began to take the form of small rectangular cakes made of eggs, milk, sugar, currants and spices. Every wedding guest had one at least, and the whole collection were thrown at the bride the instant she crossed the threshold. Those which lighted on her head or shoulders were most prized by the scramblers. At last these cakes became amalgamated into a large one which took on its full glories of almond paste and ornaments during Charles II's time. But even to-day in rural parishes, e.g. north Notts, wheat is thrown over the bridal couple with the cry "Bread for life and pudding for ever," expressive of a wish that the newly wed may be always affluent. The throwing of rice, a very ancient custom but one later than the wheat, is symbolical of the wish that the bridal may be fruitful.

The bride-cup was the bowl or loving-cup in which the bridegroom pledged the bride, and she him. The custom of breaking this wine-cup, after the bridal couple had drained its contents, is common to both the Jews and the members of the Greek Church. The former dash it against the wall or on the ground, the latter tread it under foot. The phrase "bride-cup" was also sometimes used of the bowl of spiced wine prepared at night for the bridal couple. Bride-favours, anciently called bride-lace, were at first pieces of gold, silk or other lace, used to bind up the sprigs of rosemary formerly worn at weddings. These took later the form of bunches of ribbons, which were at last metamorphosed into rosettes.

Bridegroom-men and bridesmaids had formerly important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to "lift" the bride. Bridesmaids were usual in Saxon England. The senior of them had personally to attend the bride for some days before the wedding. The making of the bridal wreath, the decoration of the tables for the wedding feast, the dressing of the bride, were among her special tasks. In the same way the senior groomsman (the best man) was the personal attendant of the husband.

The bride-wain, the wagon in which the bride was driven to her new home, gave its name to the weddings of any poor deserving couple, who drove a "wain" round the village, collecting small sums of money or articles of furniture towards their housekeeping. These were called bidding-weddings, or bid-ales, which were in the nature of "benefit" feasts. So general is still the custom of "bidding-weddings" in Wales, that printers usually keep the form of invitation in type. Sometimes as many as six hundred couples will walk in the bridal procession.

The bride's wreath is a Christian substitute for the gilt coronet all Jewish brides wore. The crowning of the bride is still observed by the Russians, and the Calvinists of Holland and Switzerland. The wearing of orange blossoms is said to have started with the Saracens, who regarded them as emblems of fecundity. It was introduced into Europe by the Crusaders. The bride's veil is the modern form of the flammeum or large yellow veil which completely enveloped the Greek and Roman brides during the ceremony. Such a covering is still in use among the Jews and the Persians.^[2]^[3]

Groom

Grooms

A bridegroom (often shortened to groom) is a man who is about to be married, or who has just been married. His partner, if female, is known as the bride, who is typically attended by one or more bridesmaids and a maid or matron of honor. In same-gender weddings, two masculine participants may both be termed grooms. The groom will after that ceremony be called a husband of his new spouse.

Etymology

The word "bridegroom" is derived from bride and the archaic guma, "man", from the Indogermanic root of "earth" (for "ghmún"), which evolved into Latin humanus and Germanic and English "man" and "groom". Through folk etymology the word became assimilated to groom, meaning a servant.

Customs

A bridegroom is typically attended by a best man and groomsmen.

In western cultures, the groom usually wears a dark coloured suit or tuxedo during the wedding ceremony. In US tradition, at the end of the wedding, it is the groom's privilege to remove the bride's garter and toss it over his shoulder to the group of male guests, much like the "tossing of the bouquet" performed by the bride. It is traditional belief that whomever catches the garter will be the next to be married.

Bridesmaid / Maid (Matron) of Honor

The bridesmaids, possibly including a maid of honor (US) or chief bridesmaid, are members of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. Specifically, a maid of honor (or matron of honor, if the woman is married) is the primary attendant with the most honors and duties of the bridal party, and is considered the equivalent of the groom's best man or (if there are several bridesmaids) ushers.

North America

In North America, a wedding party might include several bridesmaids, but the maid of honor is the title and position held by the bride's chief attendant, typically her closest friend or sister. If she is married, the title matron of honor is used. In modern day weddings some brides opt to choose a long-time male friend or brother as their head attendant, using the title "Man of Honor".

A bridesmaid's activities may be as many or as varied as she allows the bride to impose upon her. Her only required duty is to participate in the wedding ceremony. Typically, however, she is asked for help with the logistics of the wedding as an event, such as addressing invitations, and for her help as a friend, such as attending the bride as she shops for her wedding dress. Many brides expect a chief bridesmaid to arrange and pay for a bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party (US) or hen's night (Australia and UK).

On the day of the wedding, her principal duty is to provide practical and emotional support. She might assist the bride with dressing and, if needed, help the bride manage her veil, a bouquet of flower, a prayer book, or the train of her wedding dress during the day. In a double-ring wedding, the chief bridesmaid is often entrusted with the groom's wedding ring until it is needed during the ceremony. Many brides ask bridesmaids, if they are adults, to be legal witnesses who sign the marriage license after the ceremony.

United Kingdom

In the United Kingdom, the term "maid of honour" originally referred to the female attendant of a queen. The term "bridesmaid" is normally used for a bridal attendant. However, when the attendant is married, or is a mature woman, the term "matron of honour" is more commonly used. The influence of American English has led to the Chief Bridesmaid sometimes being called the Maid of Honour.

In the UK, a "maid of honour" is also a type of small cake.

Best man

The best man is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding. Usually the groom extends this honour to someone who is close to him, generally either a brother or his closest male friend. Alternatively, should one of the groom's male friends have been directly responsible for introducing the groom to his bride (or otherwise responsible for bringing them together), the honor of best man might be extended to him in gratitude. In a remarriage, a son of the groom may sometimes act as best man.

Duties

In the context of a traditional American/British white wedding, the best man's duties typically include:

Organizing a bachelor party (U.S.) / stag night (U.K.) / buck's night (Aus.) for the groom
Possibly helping plan or organize some details of the wedding
Assisting with wedding-day logistics and unforeseen circumstances that arise
Assisting the groom on the morning of wedding day
Getting the groom to the wedding on time
Supervising the groomsmen or ushers
Ensuring the rings are brought to the ceremony (usually they will have been given to the best man either earlier in the day or previously) and then passing these to the bride and groom at the appropriate point in the ceremony
Acting as a legal witness to the marriage
Giving a speech at the wedding and thanking the bride's parents
Making a toast to the bride and groom at the reception
Dance with the Maid of honor and helping to ensure that other guests make it to the dance floor and dance
Decorating the car of the married couple
Returning the Groomsmen's tuxedos / morning suits (U.K.), if they are rented

In the US, the groomsmen assist the best man with these functions.

When the groom wishes to give this honor to a woman, she may be termed the "best woman" or "best person", or may still be referred to as the 'best man'. The bride's equivalent of the best man is the maid or matron of honour. A neutral term is "honor attendant".

Best man in various cultures

In Uganda a best man does what is described above but he is also challenged to guide the newlyweds in ways of marriage. This means that ideally a best man must be married, preferably to one wife and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice. A best man must be a confidant and be discreet about the details he shares with the new couple.^{[citation needed]}

In Ukraine a best man is responsible for guarding a bride during the wedding. When he steps away traditionally a shoe gets stolen from the bride. Then the best man has to pay a ransom in exchange for returning the shoe -- usually by either drinking vodka or paying money.^{[citation needed]}

In Bhutan the best man presents himself at the wedding as a ceremonial guardian to both bride and groom. Thereafter he performs for the guests before commencement of marriage. These performances can last for 5 hours with the exhausted best man returning to his wooden carriage very similar to a dog kennel. He remains there to watch on before joining the other guests to celebrate the special occasion - usually in a drunken stupor.^{[citation needed]}

Bridesmaids

Portrait of two bridemaids.

Bridesmaid and junior bridesmaid. North Carolina, U.S.A.

A young bridesmaid at a wedding in Thornbury Castle, South Gloucestershire, England

A bridesmaid is a girl or young woman who attends to the bride during or after a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age.

In early Roman times, bridesmaids formed a kind of bridal infantry as they accompanied the bride to the groom's village. This "protective shield" of similarly outfitted bridesmaids was supposed to intervene if any wayward thugs or vengeful suitors tried to hurt the bride or steal her dowry.

However, the Western bridesmaid tradition seems to have originated from later Roman law, which required ten witnesses at a wedding in order to outsmart evil spirits believed to attend marriage ceremonies. The bridesmaids and ushers dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom, so that the evil spirits would not know who was getting married. Even as late as 19th century England, there was a belief that ill-wishers could administer curses and taint the wedding. In Victorian wedding photographs, for example, the bride and groom can look very similar to other members of the bridal party.

A bridesmaid is often a close friend or sister. Often there is more than one bridesmaid: in modern times the bride chooses how many to ask. Historically, no person of status went out unattended, and the size of the retinue was closely calculated to be appropriate to the family's social status. Then, as now, a large group of bridesmaids provided an opportunity for showing off the family's social status and wealth. The principal bridesmaid, if one is so designated, is called the maid of honor if she is unmarried or the matron of honor if she is married. A junior bridesmaid is a girl who is clearly too young to be marriageable, but who is included as an honorary bridesmaid.

Bridesmaids in Europe and North America are often asked to assist the bride with planning the wedding and a wedding reception. A bridesmaid is also typically asked to play a role in planning wedding-related events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party, if there are any. However, according to etiquette expert Judith Martin, the required duties of a bridesmaid are very limited: "Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear dresses they cannot afford."^[4] A junior bridesmaid has no responsibilities beyond attending the wedding.

Since modern bridesmaids, unlike their historical counterparts, can no longer rely on having their clothes and travel expenses paid for by the bride's family, and are sometimes even assessed fees to pay for parties that the bride wants to have before the wedding, it has become customary for the bride to present the bridesmaids with gifts as a sign of gratitude for the support and financial commitment that comes with their roles.

"Bridesmaid" as an idiomatic term

The term "bridesmaid" itself has also come to refer to one who comes close to attaining what is desired, only to fall just short, alluding to the fact that though a bridesmaid plays a large role in a wedding, she is not the one for whom the ceremony is given nor is she the center of attention. Commonly recited expressions about this member of the wedding party are "always a bridesmaid, but never a bride" and "thrice a bridesmaid, never a bride"-- an old charm that can be broken by being a bridesmaid seven times.

The term is used especially commonly to refer to a sports team or athlete that routinely comes close to winning an award or championship, only to come up just short. Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets had stated, for instance, that he was tired of being the "bridesmaid" after two consecutive losses in the NBA finals (to the Los Angeles Lakers in 2002 and to the San Antonio Spurs in 2003). Other notable bridesmaid teams during the 1990's were the Buffalo Bills, Utah Jazz, the England Cricket Team (for reaching the finals of the Cricket World Cup thrice and not winning it even once) and the New York Knicks.

This idiomatic usage of the word bridesmaid most probably began in 1917 when Fred W. Leigh and Charles Collins composed "Always a Bridesmaid":

'Why am I always a bridesmaid,
Never the blushing bride?
Ding! Dong! Wedding bells
Always ring for other gals.
But one fine day –
Please let it be soon –
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.'

In 1925 the Listerine Company used it in their ad campaign, claiming that at the root of the 'always a bridemaid' syndrome was halitosis, or bad breath.^[5]^[6]

Groomsmen

In a North American/Australian or British wedding a groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. Usually the groom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom chooses one to serve as best man. In a typical white wedding, the duties of a groomsman typically include some or all of the following:

helping the best man plan the bachelor party(U.S.)/Stag Night(U.K)/Buck's Night(Aus.) for the groom
ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony
escorting the bridesmaids down the aisle during the ceremony and reception
giving speeches and toasts (however, this duty is usually performed by the best man)
doing whatever is necessary to help make the groom's wedding experience a smooth & enjoyable one
and sometimes dancing with bridesmaids and other single female guests at the reception

The groom may also designate other male friends and relatives to act as ushers, whose main task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony.

In a military officers wedding, the role of groomsman is replaced by Swordsmen of the Sword Honor Guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.

Gifts

To show appreciation and gratitude, the bridegroom will traditionally purchase gifts for his best man and groomsmen. These gifts are generally known as groomsmen gifts. Groomsmen gifts serve as both a thank you to all the groomsmen or ushers who take the time (and spend the money) to be a part of your wedding celebration. Groomsmen gifts are also a way to commemorate the special day for years to come.

Traditionally, the bridegroom will give a gift to both his father, the bride's father and the ringbearer.

Flower Girls

A flower girl is a participant in a wedding procession. Like ring bearers and page boys, flower girls are usually members of the bride's or groom's extended family, but may also be friends.^[7]

Typically, the flower girl walks in front of the bride during an entrance processional. She may spread flower petals on the floor before the bride or carry a bouquet of flowers or thornless roses. Once the processional is over, a young flower girl will sit down with her parents. If the ceremony will not be particularly long, an older child may prefer to quietly stand at the altar with the other honor attendants.

Because very young children are overwhelmed by the duties, and older girls may feel insulted by a "baby" role, the recommended age is between four and eight years of age,^[8] or even older, if not offensive to the girl's feelings.

There may be more than one flower girl, particularly if the bride has several young relatives to honour. This practice is more common at British royal weddings, at elaborate weddings modeled after royal weddings, or at Victorian-themed weddings.

Historically, the clothing was provided by the families of the bride and groom, but most modern couples expect the parents of the flower girl pay for her dress.^[7]

Her male equivalent is the ringbearer or page boy. Often the ringbearer and the flower girl are made to look like a couple, and they may be dressed in miniature versions of the bride's and groom's clothes.

Page Boys

This section does not cite any references or sources. (December 2007)
Please improve this section by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed.

A page boy is a young male attendant at a wedding or cotillion.

This type of wedding attendant is less common than it used to be, but is still a way of including young relatives or the children of relatives and friends in a wedding. A page is often seen at British royal weddings. There may be many pages for effect at cotillions.

In a formal wedding or a white wedding, the page may be involved with the following:

A ringbearer is a special page, who carries the wedding rings for the bridal party. This is a modern term, and it is perfectly correct to refer to the Ringbearer
Traditionally, page boys may carry the bride's train, especially if she is wearing a dress with a long train.

Ringbearers and page boys are usually nephews or young brothers and are generally no younger than about 5 nor older than 9 or 10.

Ringbearer

In a formal wedding, a ring bearer or pageboy is a special page, who performs one of two functions.

A ring bearer carries the wedding rings for the bridal party. This is almost always symbolic, with the ring bearer carrying a large white satin pillow on which imitation rings are sewn, the real wedding bands being in the safekeeping of the best man. If the real rings are used, they are tacked on with thread.

A pageboy traditionally carries the bride's train if she is wearing a dress with a long train.

The ringbearer as a separate role is a relatively modern innovation; in a white wedding ceremony best man carried the rings.

Ring bearers and pageboys are usually nephews or young brothers (although they can also be nieces or sisters) and are generally no younger than about 5 nor older than 9 or 10.

Officiant/Celebrant

In the United States, Canada and many other countries around the world, a celebrant is a person who performs religious or secular celebrancy services for weddings, funerals, child namings, coming of age ceremonies, and other rituals.

Some Celebrants are ordained clergy, while others are Officiants empowered by the Humanist Association of Canada (HAC), the American Humanist Association (AHA), or the Society for Humanistic Judaism. (SHJ). In Australia, where Celebrants are commonly hired, they may be certified by any one of a number of Celebrancy training programs, while in the UK, most belong to one of a number of Humanist organizations, including the British Humanist Association and the Humanist Society of Scotland.

Celebrants may perform alternative and nontraditional ceremonies in places, and under circumstances where mainstream religious clergy will not. Some Celebrants perform same-sex weddings and commitment ceremonies. Celebrants, also called Officiants, often perform ceremonies in parks, on beaches, on mountains, on boats, on hiking trails, in hotels, in banquet halls, in private homes, and many other places.

Laws in each state of the United States vary about who has the right to perform wedding ceremonies, but Celebrants or Officiants are usually categorized as "clergy" and have the same rights and responsibilities as ordained clergy. In Canada and in the US State of Massachusetts, the only places in North America where same-sex marriages are legalized, Celebrants and Officiants perform many LGBT weddings.

In Scotland, since a June 2005 ruling by the Registrar General, humanist weddings are now legal, providing that they are conducted by an Authorized Celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland making Scotland one of only three countries in the world where this is the case. (The other two are the USA and Norway.)

Celebrants differ from Chaplains in that Celebrants serve the unaffiliated public at large, while Chaplains are usually employed by an institution such as a hospital or other health care facility, the military, etc.

In Australia, Celebrants have a slightly different role, as regulated by local and national laws. See Celebrant (Australia) for more information.

In the United States, Celebrants are professional ceremony officiants who believe in the power and effectiveness of ceremony and ritual to serve basic needs of society and the individual. They collaborate with their clients to create and perform personalized ceremonies that reflect the client’s beliefs, philosophy of life, and personality; not the Celebrant’s. See Celebrant (United States) for more information.

Gallery

Modern participants in weddings.

American	Two Astrakhan Kalmyk brides.	Bride at a Shinto wedding	Indian Muslims bride
Neopagan bride and groom	A groom waits for his bride.

Brides in history

The woman to the far right is wearing a typical wedding dress from 1929. Up until the late 1930's wedding dresses reflected the styles of the day. From that time onward, wedding dresses have traditionally been based on Victorian styles.	Bride in 1942	German woodcut of a medieval wedding ceremony (a bishop is standing over bed)	French royalty
Bride in the late 19th century	Queen Victoria and Prince Albert possibly recreating a wedding pose from their 1840 wedding for the newly developed art form of photography.1854	Scandinavian bride and maid (bottom right)	Jewish bride approaches a chuppah
An elaborate dress from 1929

Gallery

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Gallery

Sundanese wedding in Indonesia.	Nubian wedding, near Aswan, Egypt.	Wedding ceremony at the Victory Monument in Minsk.	Wedding in Poland, 1936.
Bride and groom wearing traditional Bengali wedding costumes, from Bangladesh.	Ethnic Hakka people in a wedding in East Timor, 2006.	Japanese bride and groom, wearing white and black kimonos respectively. The Japanese bride-to-be is painted pure white from head to toe, visibly declaring her maiden status to the gods; a white hood is attached to her kimono, which the bride wears like a veil to hide her 'horns of jealousy' from the groom's mother, who will now become the head of the family.	A wedding cake.
Two decorated mustangs.	Two grooms at their same-sex wedding in Wellington, New Zealand.	A new bride tossing her flower bouquet over her shoulder.

Religious aspects of marriage

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Religious aspects of marriage

In virtually all religions, marriage is a long-term union between two people and is established with ceremonies and rituals. The two people are most commonly a man and a woman, though many societies have permitted polygamous marriages, and same-sex marriage is now acknowledged in some places.

Many religions have extensive teachings regarding marriage. Most Christian churches give some form of blessing to a marriage; the wedding ceremony typically includes some sort of pledge by the community to support the couple's relationship. In the Roman Catholic Church "Holy Matrimony" is considered to be one of the seven sacraments, in this case one that the spouses bestow upon each other in front of a priest and members of the community as witnesses. An argument for the institution of the sacrament of Matrimony by Christ Jesus himself, and its occasion, is advanced by Bernard Orchard in his article The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph. [2] [3] [4] In the Eastern Orthodox church, it is one of the Mysteries, and is seen as an ordination and a martyrdom. In marriage, Christians see a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church. In Judaism, marriage is so important that remaining unmarried is deemed unnatural. Islam also recommends marriage highly; among other things, it helps in the pursuit of spiritual perfection. The Bahá'í Faith sees marriage as a foundation of the structure of society, and considers it both a physical and spiritual bond that endures into the afterlife.^[6] Hinduism sees marriage as a sacred duty that entails both religious and social obligations. By contrast, Buddhism does not encourage or discourage marriage, although it does teach how one might live a happily married life and emphasizes that married vows are not to be taken slightly (see separate article for details).

Different religions have different beliefs as regards the breakup of marriage. For example, the Roman Catholic Church believes it is morally wrong to divorce, and divorcées cannot remarry in a church marriage, though they can do in the eyes of the law. In the area of nullity, religions and the state often apply different rules, meaning that a couple, for example, could have their marriage annulled by the Catholic Church but still be married in the eyes of the law because the state disagrees with the church over whether an annulment can be granted in a given case. This produces the phenomenon of Catholics getting church annulments simultaneously with civil divorces, so that they may remarry both legally and sacramentally. The Catholic Church will not, in fact, grant an annulment petition unless the marriage has also been dissolved or annulled under civil law.

Detailed viewpoints of various religions

Ayyavazhi marriage
Bahá'í marriage
Buddhist view of marriage
Christian view of marriage
Latter-day Saint view of marriage
Hindu view of marriage
Islamic view of marriage
Jewish view of marriage
handfasting

Religious customs

Hindu customs

Main article: Hindu wedding

North and South Indian wedding ceremonies are conducted at least partially in Sanskrit, the language in which most holy Hindu ceremonies are conducted. The local language of the people involved is also used since most Hindus cannot understand Sanskrit. They may have rituals that differ fom the modern western wedding ceremony and also among the different regions, families, and castes such as Rajput Wedding, Aggarwal Weddings, Iyer Weddings and Tamil Weddings. The ceremonies are colourful and extend for several days.

Jewish customs

Main article: Jewish view of marriage

The traditions used in a Jewish wedding vary based on the denomination of Judaism of the people being married. Some of the most common are listed below.

The bride (kallah) and groom (chatan) sign a Ketubah (marriage contract). Originally, the Ketubah detailed the husband's obligations to his wife, and provided for monetary payment to her in case of divorce. Nowadayst the Ketubah can be a decorative keepsake that sets out expectations for both the bride and groom. In Conservative homes it is typically framed and displayed, while in Orthodox homes it is kept hidden away.

The Jewish ceremony generally starts with the bride and groom being escorted to the huppah (Jewish wedding canopy) by both sets of parents. The ceremony takes place under the huppah, and is presided over by a Rabbi. After the vows, seven marriage blessings are read and the groom then smashes a glass with his foot. The bride and groom spend time together alone before the reception, which is traditionally a joyous celebration with much music and dancing.

There are several activities that may take place during the reception:

The wedding breakfast.
A dance in which the bride and groom hold opposite corners of a handkerchief while they are lifted up on chairs by the guests and whirled around.
The Krenzl, in which the bride's mother is crowned with a wreath of flowers as her daughters dance around her (traditionally at the wedding of the mother's last unwed daughter).
The Mizinke, a dance for the parents of the bride or groom when their last child is wed.
The gladdening of the bride, in which guests dance around the bride, and can include the use of "shtick" -- silly items such as signs, banners, costumes, confetti, and jump ropes made of table napkins.
The singing of Aishet Chayil to the bride by the groom accompanied by his friends.

Quaker customs

Main article: Quaker wedding

A Quaker wedding ceremony in a Friends meeting is similar to any other Meeting for Worship, and therefore often very different from the experience expected by non-Friends.

LDS customs

Main article: Celestial marriage

Within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormons), the act of marriage is regarded as an eternal affair. As such, there are two kinds of marriages recognized by the Church, civil marriage and celestial marriage. Civil marriages are those legally contracted under local law and are dissolved upon the death of the participants, while celestial marriages, also known as sealings, bind the participants as husband and wife for all eternity if both are righteous.

Celestial marriages can only be performed by Priesthood authority within a Sealing Room in a dedicated temple. Only members of the LDS church who have a temple recommend may attend an LDS wedding. The wedding is often referred to as a sealing, in which husband and wife are sealed beyond death into the next life. Space is limited in sealing rooms so only family and close friends attend.

The sealing can be performed at the same approximate time as the civil marriage or for a couple civilly married for at least one year. In the latter case, if the couple already has children, they may also accompany the ceremony to be sealed to their parents. Children who are born to parents who have already been sealed need no such ceremony, as they have been "born in the covenant."

Many LDS couples will then hold wedding receptions or open houses after the wedding ceremony in another venue that is open to all family and friends. Some couples choose to recreate a more traditional wedding ceremony, or will simply perform certain traditional acts, such as the throwing of the bouquet, first dance, etc.

international wedding customs

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international wedding customs

Common elements in wedding customs across cultures

A number of cultures utilise the western custom of a bride wearing a white dress. This tradition came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception, the white dress did not indicate virginity, which was symbolized by the face veil). Within the ‘white wedding’ tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate for a second or third wedding of a widow or a divorcee.

The custom of exchanging rings may be the oldest and most universal symbol of marriage, but the origins are unclear. The ring’s circular shape represents perfection and never-ending love. The ring gains even greater symbolism with the inclusion of a precious stone.

The rings are exchanged during the wedding ceremony and symbolize the love, faithfulness and commitment of the marriage union.

The wedding is often followed by a reception during which the rituals include toasting the bride and groom, the newlyweds' first dance as husband and wife, cake cutting, etc.

Wedding clothing

Qipao or Hanfu, Chinese traditional formal wear
Batik and Kebaya, a garment worn by the Javanese people of Indonesia.
Barong Tagalog, an embroidered, formal men's garment of the Philippines.
Kimono, the traditional garments of Japan
Sari, Indian popular and traditional dress in India
Ao dai, traditional garments of Vietnam
Morning dress, men's formal dress
Kilt, male garment particular to Scottish culture^[1]^[2]^[3]
Kittel, a white robe worn by the groom at an Orthodox Jewish wedding. The kittel is worn only under the Chupah, and is removed before the reception.
Topor, a type of conical headgear
Tuxedo
- Black tie, indicating dinner jacket in the UK
- White tie, indicating evening dress in the UK
Sherwani, a long coat-like garment worn in South Asia
Wedding crown, worn by Scandinavian brides
Wedding veil
Wedding dress

Music

Western weddings

Music often played at western weddings includes a processional song for walking down the aisle (ex: Wedding March) and reception dance music.

Music played at Western weddings includes:

The "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as "Here Comes the Bride" - Note: Richard Wagner is said to have been Anti-Semitic^[4], and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.^{[citation needed]}
Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is often used as an alternative processional.
The "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, often used as a recessional.
The "Toccata" from Charles-Marie Widor's Symphony for Organ No. 5, also used as a recessional.
Segments of the Ode To Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, sometimes make appearances at weddings; its message of unity is suitable for the occasion.
At wedding receptions, Der Ententanz, a 1950s Swiss Oom-pah song known more commonly in America as The Chicken Dance, has become a popular part of the reception dance music.

Bridal march

The Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner's opera Lohengrin
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Chinese weddings

Chinese music plays an important role in creating a happy, friendly environment during the wedding ceremony. A band of musicians with gongs and flute-like instruments accompanies the bride parade to groom's home. Similar music is also played at the wedding banquet.

Jewish weddings

At traditional Jewish weddings, a solemn, wordless tune is sung as the groom and then bride walk down the aisles. Chabad tradition is to sing a special tune composed by their founding Rebbe, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the tune is comprised of four stanzas corresponding to the four worlds of kabbalistic cosmology, and is only sung at solemn occasions^[5]. During the recessional, lively Hebrew songs are sung by the guests, who escort the couple from the chuppah.

Asian customs

Customs vary throughout the Asian continent.

Arabic customs

Arabic weddings vary depending on the country and religion of the bride and groom. Although Christian weddings in the Arab World bear clear similarities to Western weddings, the Muslim weddings in the Arab countries are influenced by Muslim traditions. Muslim weddings (pre-arranged or not) start with a Shaikh and Al-Kitab (book) for the bride and groom. The groom may or may not see his bride until the wedding day. Men and women in wedding ceremonies and receptions are segregated affairs, with areas for both men and women. An old tradition, now rarely observed, involves the women at the ceremony symbolically mourning the loss of the bride by doing the "wedding wail". The bride's dress is an ornate Caftan, and the bride's hands and feet are decorated in intricate lace-like patterns painted using a henna dye. Customarily women guests do not show their hair, shoulders or legs; and all guests at a Mosque remove their shoes on entering. Guests may give gifts to the bride and groom. However, these are all the old traditions; Arabs, nowadays, have Western-like weddings, but still preserve most Arab customs and traditions.^{[citation needed]}

Bengali customs

Main article: Bengali wedding

Bengali wedding refers to both Muslim wedding and Hindu wedding in Bangladesh and West Bengal. Although Muslim and Hindu marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common cultural rituals in marriages across religion among Bengali people.

Chinese customs

Main article: Chinese marriage

See also: Chinese tea culture and Red packet

Chinese marriage is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involve a marriage established by pre-arrangement between families. Within Chinese culture, romantic love was allowed, and monogamy was the norm for most ordinary citizens.

Cantonese customs

Main article: Cantonese wedding

Most Cantonese wedding rituals follow the main Chinese wedding traditions. Although some rituals are unique to the Cantonese people.

Filipino Customs

Customs and superstitions regarding marriage in the Philippines vary. Some examples are:

The groom usually wears the Barong Tagalog during the wedding, along with the male attendants, though nowadays the wealthy opt to don Western attire such as a tuxedo.
Sukob: weddings held within the same year by two siblings, usually sisters, are frowned upon as it is regarded as bad luck.
Some hold it that the wedding rings dropping to the ground is a portent of bad luck (this is usually said to the ringbearer to ensure that the child is careful in handling the rings).
Money, in the form of paper bills, is sometimes taped or pinned to the groom and bride during the reception.

Indian customs

Main article: Indian wedding

Indian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration, that continue for several days. They are not small affairs, often with 400-1000 people attending (many of whom are unknown to the bride and groom). Although most marriages are arranged, some couples in urban areas are having love marriages.

Rajput customs

Main article: Rajput wedding

Rajputs - one of the major Hindu Kshatriya groups from India - traditionally had their own typical rituals of marriage as it is one of the most important functions of life. It is relation which is created for seven generations between the two families of the Bride & the Groom. It comprises a ceremony each for the TILAK (engagement), the BAN (starting of the wedding ceremony, MEL the community feast, the Nikasi is the departure of the Bridegroom party for the wedding, Sehla & Dhukav reception of wedding party at the Brides place be her parents. Solemnisation of wedding Sat Fere.

Japanese customs

Traditional Japanese wedding customs (shinzen shiki) have given way to the "Western Style Wedding" in recent years. The Japanese have long tried to emulate and improve upon Western tradition. To that end, a Japanese western style wedding is held in a chapel, either in a simple or elaborate ceremony, often at a chapel within a hotel. Typically, much like in Western culture, the bride, or shinpu, and groom, or shinro, get their own changing rooms within the chapel, as does the bride's father and any other important guest who requires such a room. There is also a room to hold the reception afterwards.

A traditional Japanese wedding ceremony

Before the ceremony, there is a rehearsal. Often during this rehearsal, the bride's mother lowers the veil for her daughter, signifying the last act that a mother can do for her daughter, before giving her away. The father of the bride, much like in Western culture, walks the bride down the aisle to her awaiting groom.

After the rehearsal comes the procession. The wedding celebrant will often wear a wedding cross, or cana, a cross with two interlocking wedding rings attached, which symbolize a couple's commitment to sharing a life together in the bonds of holy matrimony. The wedding celebrant gives a brief welcome and an introductory speech before announcing the bride's entrance. The procession ends with the groom bowing to the bride's father. The father bows in return.

The service, or kekkon shiki, then starts. The service is given either in Japanese or English, or, in some cases, a mix of both. It follows a traditional Protestant ceremony, relaxed and not overtly religious. The opening hymn is usually the Japanese version of What a Friend We Have in Jesus. Part of 1 Corinthians 13 is read from the Bible. After the reading, there is a prayer and a short message, explaining the sanctity of the wedding vows, or seiyaku. The bride and groom share their vows and exchange rings. The chapel register is signed and the new couple is announced. This is often followed by the traditional wedding kiss. The service concludes with another hymn and a benediction.

Malay customs

Main article: Malay wedding

A Malay wedding ceremony spreads over two days, beginning with the akad nikah ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin(dowry). After that, their hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed or her eyebrows shaped by a beautician known as the mak andam.

Pakistani customs

Main article: Pakistani wedding

A Pakistani wedding typically consist of four ceremonies on four separate days.

Russian customs

Main article: Russian wedding

A traditional Russian wedding lasts for at least two days and some weddings last as long as a week. Throughout the celebration there is dancing, singing, long toasts, and a lot of food and drinks. The best man and maid of honor are called witnesses, “svideteli” in Russian. The ceremony and the ring exchange takes place on the first day of the wedding and on this special day many events take place. Throughout the years, Russian weddings have adopted many western cultures, including bridesmaids and flower girls.

European customs

Customs vary throughout the European continent.

The Western custom of a bride wearing a white wedding dress, came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception and the hackneyed jokes of situation comedies the white dress did not actually indicate virginity, which was symbolized by a face veil). Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate in the second or third wedding of a widow or divorcee. The specific conventions of Western weddings, largely from a Protestant and Catholic viewpoint, are discussed at "White wedding."

A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception, at which an elaborate wedding cake is served. Western traditions include toasting the couple, the newlyweds having the first dance, and cutting the cake. A bride may throw her bouquet to the assembled group of all unmarried women in attendance, with folklore suggesting the person who catches it will be the next to wed. A fairly recent equivalent has the groom throwing the bride's garter to the assembled unmarried men; the man who catches it is supposedly the next to wed.

A modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old).

French customs

In smaller French towns, the groom may meet his fiancée at her home on the day of the wedding and escort her to the chapel where the ceremony is being held. As the couple proceeds to the chapel, children will stretch long white ribbons across the road which the bride will cut as she passes.

At the chapel, the bride and groom are seated on two red velvet chairs underneath a silk canopy they called a carre. Laurel leaves may be scattered across their paths when they exit the chapel. Sometimes small coins are also tossed for the children to gather.

A traditional French wedding celebration at Château de Hattonchâtel

At the reception, the couple customarily uses a toasting cup, called a Coupe de Marriage. The origin of giving toast began in France, when they literally dropped a small piece of toast into the couple's wine (to ensure a healthy life). They lifted their glass to "a toast", as is common in Western culture today.

Some couples choose to serve a croquembouche instead of a wedding cake. The dessert is a pyramid of crème-filled pastry puffs, drizzled with a caramel glaze.

At a more boisterous wedding, tradition involves continuing the celebration until very late at night. After the reception, those invited to the wedding will gather outside the newlyweds' window and bang pots and pans. They are then invited into the house for some more drinks in the couple's honor, after which the couple is finally allowed to be alone for their first night together as husband and wife.

Another practice that is becoming more common at wedding celebrations is "beheading" a bottle of champagne with a sabre made for the occasion. It was started as a way for the Hussars (under Napoleon's command) to celebrate victories and exhibit their horseback skills: they would "behead" the top off a bottle of champagne while on horseback. Legend has it that the skilled horsemen would ride at a full gallop while brave women held up bottles of champagne. The sabre must strike the neck of the bottle at exactly the right angle (champagne bottles have over 100 pounds of pressure per square inch).

This practice spread throughout France as a way to celebrate special occasions. Decorative replicas of these special sabres can be purchased from artisans in Lyon, France (the French capital of cutlery).

Italian customs

At the start of a typical Italian wedding reception, the bridal party and the rest of the guests are separated for an hour and served cocktails. The food during cocktail hour is served in a buffet setup. During the cocktail time, the bride and the groom usually take their time to shoot photographs in a proper setting.

At the conclusion of cocktail hour, the guests will gather in the main dining room. The newlywed couple is introduced with much fanfare and they take their first dance, with the bridal party following soon after, who are then ultimately joined by the rest of the guests. Afterwards, everyone is seated, speeches are made by friends and family, and everyone champagne toasts the wedded couple.

Food is plentiful during most weddings, and Italian custom is no exception. Between courses, the MC will encourage dancing.

After the bulk of the courses have passed, it is time for the cake cutting, which ushers in the dessert course. In Sicilian customs, the dessert course is often presented as a Venetian Table, a dazzling array of pastries, fruits, coffees, cakes, (etc) are presented in great quantity with much celebration. This is often called Venetian Hour.

After dessert, more dancing commences, gifts are given, and the guests eventually begin to leave. In Southern Italy, as the guests leave, they hand envelopes of money to the bride and groom, who return the gift with a wedding favor, a small token of appreciation.

Polish customs

Polish weddings are festive and traditional. The wedding celebrations may continue for two or three days. The engagement is also an important custom. In the past, the engagement ceremony was organized by the future groom as a formal family gathering, during which he asked his chosen lady to marry him. In the recent years this official custom has changed and today an engagement is much more personal and intimate. An elegant dinner party afterwards is still a nice way to inform the closest family members about the couples' decision to get married.

In some regions of Poland the tradition to invite the wedding guests in person is still upheld. Many young couples still devote their time, and accompanied by the parents visit their family and friends to hand them the wedding invitations personally.

According to the old tradition a groom arrives with his parents at the house of a bride just before the wedding ceremony. At that time both parents and parents-in-law give a young couple their blessing. The couple enters the church together and walks up to the altar followed by two witnesses and the parents. In Poland it is quite unusual for the bride to be walked down the aisle or to have bridesmaids and groomsmen in a wedding. The couple is assisted by two witnesses, a man (usually grooms' side) and a woman (usually brides' side) who are either family members or close friends.

The Polish bride traditionally wears a white dress and a veil. The groom, on the other hand usually wears a fitted suit with a bow tie and a boutonnière that matches the brides' bouquet. During the ceremony wedding rings are exchanged and both the husband and wife wear them on their right hand. When they leave the church the guests toss rice or coins at the married couple for good and prosperous future together. Right after the ceremony the closest family and all the guest form a line in the front of the church to congratulate the happy newlyweds and wish them love and happiness. As soon as the married couple leave the church they get showered with rice for luck or guests drop coins at their feet for them to pick up.

Once all the guests have showered the couple with kisses, hugs and flowers everyone heads to the reception. It is a very popular custom in Poland to prepare "passing gates" on the way to the reception for the newlyweds, who in order to pass have to give the "gate keepers" some vodka.

The married couple is welcomed at the reception place by the parents with bread and salt. The bread symbolizes the prosperity, salt stands for hardship of life, the parents wish the young couple that they never go hungry and learn how to deal with every day hardships together. The wedding party lasts until the last guest leaves, usually until morning.

Romanian customs

Main article: Lăutari

Lăutari are musicians performing traditional songs. The music of the lăutari establishes the structure of the elaborate Romanian peasant weddings. The lăutari also function as guides through the wedding rituals and moderate any conflicts that may arise during what can be a long, alcohol-fueled party. Over a period of nearly 48 hours, this can be very physically strenuous.

Following custom almost certainly dating back at least to the Middle Ages, most lăutari spend the fees from these wedding ceremonies on extended banquets for their friends and families over the days immediately following the wedding.

Scottish customs

Scotland is a popular place for young English couples to get married, due to the fact that in Scotland, parents' permission is not required if both the bride and groom are old enough to legally be married (16). In England it was the case that if either was 16 or 17 then the permission of parents had to be sought. Thus Scotland, and especially the blacksmith's at Gretna Green, became a very popular place for couples to elope to, especially those under 18 and usually living in England. Gretna Green now hosts hundreds of weddings a year and is Scotland's third most popular tourist attraction.

Customs:

The bride's family sends invitations on behalf of the couple to the wedding guests, addressed by hand. The couple may send the invitations themselves, especially if they are more middle-aged. The invites will specify if the invitation is for ceremony and/or reception and/or evening following the meal at the reception.
Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day. Alternatively, the couple may register at department store and have a list of gifts there. The shop then organizes delivery, usually to the bride's parents' house or to the reception venue.
A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, register office or possibly another favorite location, such as a hilltop. In this regard Scotland differs significantly from England where only pre-approved public locations may be used for the wedding ceremony. Most ceremonies take place mid afternoon and last about half an hour during which the marriage schedule is signed by the couple and two witnesses, usually the best man and chief bridesmaid.
The newly wed couple usually leave the ceremony to the sound of bagpipes.
There is a wedding reception following the ceremony, usually at a different venue.
The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
Usually a drink is served while the guests and bridal party mingle. In some cases the drink may be whiskey or wine with a non alcoholic alternative.
The best man and bride's father toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes, usually humorous. The groom then follows with a response on behalf of his bride. Champagne is usually provided for the toast.
There is nearly always dancing following the meal. Often in Scotland this takes the form of a ceilidh, a night of informal traditional Scottish dancing in couples and groups to live traditional music. The first dance is led by the bride and groom, followed by the rest of the bridal party and finally the guests.
The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
A sprig of white heather is usually worn as a buttonhole for good luck.
It is the norm for the groom and much of the male bridal party and guests to wear kilts, although suits are also worn. Kilts and Highland dress are often hired for this purpose.

Handfasting

Main article: Handfasting

Handfasting is an ancient Celtic wedding ritual in which the bride's and groom's hands are tied together — hence the phrase "tying the knot". "Handfasting" is favored by practitioners of Celtic-based religions and spiritual traditions, such as Wicca and Druidism.^{[citation needed]}

North American customs

United States customs

A Christian or other mainstream wedding and reception in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary but components include the following:

The bride wears “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.” (See also Ceremonial clothing in Western cultures.)
The bride usually wears a white dress.
A color scheme is often used so that the invitation matches the bridesmaids' dresses and the table settings.
Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony.[1]
The bride's family sends engraved invitations to the wedding guests, addressed by hand to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion.
Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day.
A wedding ceremony takes place at a church or other location, such as an outdoor venue.

At the wedding reception following the ceremony, sometimes at the same location but sometimes at a different venue:

The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
Usually snacks or a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
Often the best man and/or maid of honor toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider, or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
Clinking silverware against glassware obliges the newlyweds to kiss.
If dancing is provided, the bride and groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey.
In some cultures, the money dance takes place, in which it is expected and encouraged for guests to pin money onto the young bride and groom to help them get started in their new lives.
The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter--often a special silver keepsake cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake.
In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at this time.
The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.

Wedding gifts

The purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's joy and celebration. Gifts for the bride and groom are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some brides and grooms and families feel, contrary to proper etiquette, that for the expense and effort they put into showing their guests a good time and to wine and dine them, the guests should reciprocate by providing nice gifts or cash.

The couple often registers for gifts at a store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of household items, usually including china, silverware and crystalware; often including linen preferences, pots and pans, and similar items. With brides and grooms who might already be independent and have lived on their own, even owning their own homes, they sometimes register at hardware or home improvement stores. Registries are intended to make it easy for guests who wish to purchase gifts to feel comfortable that they are purchasing gifts that the newlyweds will truly appreciate. The registry information should, according to etiquette, be provided only to guests who request it. Some couples register with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, home purchase or college fund.

Some guests may find bridal registries inappropriate. They can be seen as an anathema to traditional notions behind gift buying, such as contravening the belief that "one should be happy for what they receive", taking away the element of surprise, and leading to present buying as a type of competition, as the couple knows the costs of each individual item. It may also be seen by some as inappropriate to invite people who do not know either the bride or groom well enough to be able to pick out an appropriate gift.

African-American customs

Main article: Jumping the broom

Jumping the broom developed out West African Asante custom. The broom in Asante and other Akan cultures also held spiritual value and symbolized sweeping away past wrongs or warding off evil spirits. Brooms were waved over the heads of marrying couples to ward off spirits. The couple would often but not always jump over the broom at the end of the ceremony.

The custom took on additional significance in the context of slavery in the United States. Slaves had no right to legal marriage; slaveholders considered slaves property and feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals, however, were important events to the Africans, who came in many cases come from richly-ceremonial African cultures.

Taking marriage vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. Jumping the broom has become a practice in many modern weddings between Black Americans.^{[citation needed]}

There are also traditions of broom jumping in Europe, in the Wicca and Celtic communities especially. They are probably unconnected with the African practice.^{[citation needed]}

African customs

Wedding traditions

Pygmy wedding traditions

Pygmy engagements were not long and usually formalized by an exchange of visits between the families concerned. The groom to be would bring a gift of game or maybe a few arrows to his new in-laws, take his bride home to live in his band and with his new parents. His only obligation is to find among his relatives a girl willing to marry a brother or male cousin of his wife. If he feels he can feed more than one wife, he may have additional wives.

Wedding types and kinds

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Wedding types and kinds

Double wedding

A double wedding is a single ceremony where two affianced couples rendezvous for two separate weddings. Typically, a fiancé with a sibling might plan a double wedding with that sibling. In the Philippines, however, a double wedding between two siblings within the same year is considered bad luck and is called sukob.

Destination wedding

A destination wedding is any wedding in which the engaged couple and/or a majority of their guests travel to attend the ceremony. This could be a beach ceremony in the Caribbean, in Las Vegas or a simple ceremony in someone's back yard.

Weekend wedding

A weekend wedding is a wedding in which couples and their guests celebrate over the course of a weekend. Special activities, such as spa treatments and golf tournaments, may be scheduled into the wedding itinerary throughout the weekend. Lodging usually is at the same facility as the wedding and couples often host a Sunday brunch for the weekend's finale.

White Wedding

Main article: white wedding

A white wedding is a term for a traditional formal or semi-formal Western wedding. This term refers to the color of the wedding dress, which became popular in the Victorian era and came to symbolize purity of heart and the innocence of childhood. Later attribution suggested that the color white symbolized virginity.

Military wedding

A military wedding is a ceremony conducted in a military chapel and may involve a Saber Arch. In most military weddings the groom will wear a military dress uniform in lieu of a tuxedo, although most military formal wear is rather similar to tuxedos. Some retired military personnel who marry after their service has ended sometimes opt for a military wedding.

Civil wedding

A civil wedding is a ceremony presided over by a local civil authority, such as an elected or appointed judge, justice of the peace or the mayor of a locality. Civil wedding ceremonies may use references to God, but generally no references to a particular religion or denomination. They can be either elaborate or simple. Many civil wedding ceremonies take place in local town or city halls or courthouses in judge's chambers.

Same-sex wedding

A same-sex wedding or is a ceremony in which two people of the same sex are married or civilly united. This may be an official and legally recognized event, or, in places that do not allow same-sex marriage, it may simply be a symbolic ceremony designed to provide the opportunity to make the same public declarations and celebration with friends and family that any other type of wedding may afford.

Church wedding

A church wedding is a ceremony presided over by a Christian priest or pastor. Ceremonies are based on reference to God, are frequently embodied into other church ceremonies such as Holy Mass. Customs may vary widely between denominations.

Jewish wedding

A Jewish wedding is a ceremony presided over by someone who can read Hebrew and knows Jewish law, usually, but not necessarily, a rabbi. The rabbi recites the two wedding blessings, reads out the ketubah, and recites the seven blessings, or Sheva Brachot. Today, a second Rabbi or another honored guest is given the privilege of reading the ketubah, and seven other people are given the honor of reciting the blessings. The ceremony concludes when the groom breaks a glass underfoot.

Overview

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Overview

Most weddings contain wedding vows and a proclamation of marriage, usually by the officiant. Most weddings also involve wearing traditional clothes (i.e., kilts, white gown, red sari, etc.). A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception.

Other elements may include music, poetry, prayer or scripture. Some elements of the traditional Western wedding ceremony symbolize the bride's departure from her father's control and entry into a new family with her husband. In modern Western weddings, this symbolism is largely vestigial.

A wedding carriage in Bristol, England

The common element in a wedding is the assumption of husband and wife roles as well as the roles of the future parents. The wedding is a special moment that marks the beginning of a new generation, a new family and a life together. This moment is recognized with traditions, ceremonies and rituals including engagement and wedding ceremonies.

When it comes to planning a wedding people often honor traditions, even if they do not fully understand their origin or meaning. Every culture cherishes its own wedding traditions and superstitions. Some of those are closely followed even by those who are normally not superstitious.

The figure of a bride in white is an important element of the ritual of marriage. However, new designs of gown are available so brides today may find themselves attracted to designs that do not look traditional. The symbolism behind the wedding dress, however, has not changed.

Wedding

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Wedding

Preparing for the photographs, at a wedding at Thornbury Castle, England

A wedding is a ceremony that celebrates the beginning of a marriage or civil union. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. In some countries, cultures and religions, the actual act of marriage begins during the wedding ceremony. In others, the legal act of marriage occurs at the time of signing a marriage license or other legal document, and the wedding is then an opportunity to perform a traditional ceremony and celebrate with friends and family. A woman being married is called a bride, a man called a bridegroom, and after the ceremony they become a wife and a husband.

Nuptial is the adjective of "wedding". It is used for example in zoology to denote plumage, coloration, behavior, etc related to or occurring in the mating season.

1 Overview
2 Wedding types and kinds
- 2.1 Double wedding
- 2.2 Destination wedding
- 2.3 Weekend wedding
- 2.4 White Wedding
- 2.5 Military wedding
- 2.6 Civil wedding
- 2.7 Same-sex wedding
- 2.8 Church wedding
- 2.9 Jewish wedding
3 International wedding customs
- 3.1 Common elements in wedding customs across cultures
  - 3.1.1 Wedding clothing
  - 3.1.2 Music
    - 3.1.2.1 Western weddings
    - 3.1.2.2 Chinese weddings
    - 3.1.2.3 Jewish weddings
- 3.2 Asian customs
  - 3.2.1 Arabic customs
  - 3.2.2 Bengali customs
  - 3.2.3 Chinese customs
    - 3.2.3.1 Cantonese customs
  - 3.2.4 Filipino Customs
  - 3.2.5 Indian customs
    - 3.2.5.1 Rajput customs
  - 3.2.6 Japanese customs
  - 3.2.7 Malay customs
  - 3.2.8 Pakistani customs
  - 3.2.9 Russian customs
- 3.3 European customs
  - 3.3.1 French customs
  - 3.3.2 Italian customs
  - 3.3.3 Polish customs
  - 3.3.4 Romanian customs
  - 3.3.5 Scottish customs
  - 3.3.6 Handfasting
- 3.4 North American customs
  - 3.4.1 United States customs
    - 3.4.1.1 Wedding gifts
    - 3.4.1.2 African-American customs
- 3.5 African customs
  - 3.5.1 Wedding traditions
  - 3.5.2 Pygmy wedding traditions
4 Religious aspects of marriage
- 4.1 Detailed viewpoints of various religions
- 4.2 Religious customs
  - 4.2.1 Hindu customs
  - 4.2.2 Jewish customs
  - 4.2.3 Quaker customs
  - 4.2.4 LDS customs
5 Gallery
6 See also
- 6.1 Wedding traditions
- 6.2 Ceremony aspects
- 6.3 Related travel
- 6.4 Religious aspects
- 6.5 Related events and social processes
7 References
8 External links

Overview

A wedding carriage in Bristol, England

Wedding types and kinds

Double wedding

Destination wedding

Weekend wedding

White Wedding

Main article: white wedding

Military wedding

Civil wedding

Same-sex wedding

wedding

Jewish wedding

International wedding customs

Common elements in wedding customs across cultures

The rings are exchanged during the wedding ceremony and symbolize the love, faithfulness and commitment of the marriage union.

The wedding is often followed by a reception during which the rituals include toasting the bride and groom, the newlyweds' first dance as husband and wife, cake cutting, etc.

Wedding clothing

Qipao or Hanfu, Chinese traditional formal wear
Batik and Kebaya, a garment worn by the Javanese people of Indonesia.
Barong Tagalog, an embroidered, formal men's garment of the Philippines.
Kimono, the traditional garments of Japan
Sari, Indian popular and traditional dress in India
Ao dai, traditional garments of Vietnam
Morning dress, men's formal dress
Kilt, male garment particular to Scottish culture^[1]^[2]^[3]
Kittel, a white robe worn by the groom at an Orthodox Jewish wedding. The kittel is worn only under the Chupah, and is removed before the reception.
Topor, a type of conical headgear
Tuxedo
- Black tie, indicating dinner jacket in the UK
- White tie, indicating evening dress in the UK
Sherwani, a long coat-like garment worn in South Asia
Wedding crown, worn by Scandinavian brides
Wedding veil
Wedding dress

Music

Western weddings

Music often played at western weddings includes a processional song for walking down the aisle (ex: Wedding March) and reception dance music.

Music played at Western weddings includes:

The "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as "Here Comes the Bride" - Note: Richard Wagner is said to have been Anti-Semitic^[4], and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.^{[citation needed]}
Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is often used as an alternative processional.
The "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, often used as a recessional.
The "Toccata" from Charles-Marie Widor's Symphony for Organ No. 5, also used as a recessional.
Segments of the Ode To Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, sometimes make appearances at weddings; its message of unity is suitable for the occasion.
At wedding receptions, Der Ententanz, a 1950s Swiss Oom-pah song known more commonly in America as The Chicken Dance, has become a popular part of the reception dance music.

Bridal march

The Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner's opera Lohengrin
Problems playing the files? See media help.

Chinese weddings

Jewish weddings

Asian customs

Customs vary throughout the Asian continent.

Arabic customs

Bengali customs

Main article: Bengali wedding

Chinese customs

Main article: Chinese marriage

See also: Chinese tea culture and Red packet

Cantonese customs

Main article: Cantonese wedding

Most Cantonese wedding rituals follow the main Chinese wedding traditions. Although some rituals are unique to the Cantonese people.

Filipino Customs

Customs and superstitions regarding marriage in the Philippines vary. Some examples are:

The groom usually wears the Barong Tagalog during the wedding, along with the male attendants, though nowadays the wealthy opt to don Western attire such as a tuxedo.
Sukob: weddings held within the same year by two siblings, usually sisters, are frowned upon as it is regarded as bad luck.
Some hold it that the wedding rings dropping to the ground is a portent of bad luck (this is usually said to the ringbearer to ensure that the child is careful in handling the rings).
Money, in the form of paper bills, is sometimes taped or pinned to the groom and bride during the reception.

Indian customs

Main article: Indian wedding

Rajput customs

Main article: Rajput wedding

Japanese customs

A traditional Japanese wedding ceremony

Malay customs

Main article: Malay wedding

Pakistani customs

Main article: Pakistani wedding

A Pakistani wedding typically consist of four ceremonies on four separate days.

Russian customs

Main article: Russian wedding

European customs

Customs vary throughout the European continent.

French customs

A traditional French wedding celebration at Château de Hattonchâtel

Some couples choose to serve a croquembouche instead of a wedding cake. The dessert is a pyramid of crème-filled pastry puffs, drizzled with a caramel glaze.

Italian customs

Food is plentiful during most weddings, and Italian custom is no exception. Between courses, the MC will encourage dancing.

Polish customs

Romanian customs

Main article: Lăutari

Scottish customs

Customs:

The bride's family sends invitations on behalf of the couple to the wedding guests, addressed by hand. The couple may send the invitations themselves, especially if they are more middle-aged. The invites will specify if the invitation is for ceremony and/or reception and/or evening following the meal at the reception.
Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day. Alternatively, the couple may register at department store and have a list of gifts there. The shop then organizes delivery, usually to the bride's parents' house or to the reception venue.
A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, register office or possibly another favorite location, such as a hilltop. In this regard Scotland differs significantly from England where only pre-approved public locations may be used for the wedding ceremony. Most ceremonies take place mid afternoon and last about half an hour during which the marriage schedule is signed by the couple and two witnesses, usually the best man and chief bridesmaid.
The newly wed couple usually leave the ceremony to the sound of bagpipes.
There is a wedding reception following the ceremony, usually at a different venue.
The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
Usually a drink is served while the guests and bridal party mingle. In some cases the drink may be whiskey or wine with a non alcoholic alternative.
The best man and bride's father toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes, usually humorous. The groom then follows with a response on behalf of his bride. Champagne is usually provided for the toast.
There is nearly always dancing following the meal. Often in Scotland this takes the form of a ceilidh, a night of informal traditional Scottish dancing in couples and groups to live traditional music. The first dance is led by the bride and groom, followed by the rest of the bridal party and finally the guests.
The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
A sprig of white heather is usually worn as a buttonhole for good luck.
It is the norm for the groom and much of the male bridal party and guests to wear kilts, although suits are also worn. Kilts and Highland dress are often hired for this purpose.

Handfasting

Main article: Handfasting

North American customs

United States customs

A Christian or other mainstream wedding and reception in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary but components include the following:

The bride wears “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.” (See also Ceremonial clothing in Western cultures.)
The bride usually wears a white dress.
A color scheme is often used so that the invitation matches the bridesmaids' dresses and the table settings.
Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony.[1]
The bride's family sends engraved invitations to the wedding guests, addressed by hand to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion.
Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day.
A wedding ceremony takes place at a church or other location, such as an outdoor venue.

At the wedding reception following the ceremony, sometimes at the same location but sometimes at a different venue:

The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
Usually snacks or a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
Often the best man and/or maid of honor toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider, or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
Clinking silverware against glassware obliges the newlyweds to kiss.
If dancing is provided, the bride and groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey.
In some cultures, the money dance takes place, in which it is expected and encouraged for guests to pin money onto the young bride and groom to help them get started in their new lives.
The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter--often a special silver keepsake cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake.
In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at this time.
The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.

Wedding gifts

African-American customs

Main article: Jumping the broom

There are also traditions of broom jumping in Europe, in the Wicca and Celtic communities especially. They are probably unconnected with the African practice.^{[citation needed]}

African customs

Wedding traditions

Pygmy wedding traditions

Religious aspects of marriage

Detailed viewpoints of various religions

Ayyavazhi marriage
Bahá'í marriage
Buddhist view of marriage
Christian view of marriage
Latter-day Saint view of marriage
Hindu view of marriage
Islamic view of marriage
Jewish view of marriage
handfasting

Religious customs

Hindu customs

Main article: Hindu wedding

Jewish customs

Main article: Jewish view of marriage

The traditions used in a Jewish wedding vary based on the denomination of Judaism of the people being married. Some of the most common are listed below.

There are several activities that may take place during the reception:

The wedding breakfast.
A dance in which the bride and groom hold opposite corners of a handkerchief while they are lifted up on chairs by the guests and whirled around.
The Krenzl, in which the bride's mother is crowned with a wreath of flowers as her daughters dance around her (traditionally at the wedding of the mother's last unwed daughter).
The Mizinke, a dance for the parents of the bride or groom when their last child is wed.
The gladdening of the bride, in which guests dance around the bride, and can include the use of "shtick" -- silly items such as signs, banners, costumes, confetti, and jump ropes made of table napkins.
The singing of Aishet Chayil to the bride by the groom accompanied by his friends.

Quaker customs

Main article: Quaker wedding

A Quaker wedding ceremony in a Friends meeting is similar to any other Meeting for Worship, and therefore often very different from the experience expected by non-Friends.

LDS customs

Main article: Celestial marriage

Gallery

Sundanese wedding in Indonesia.	Nubian wedding, near Aswan, Egypt.	Wedding ceremony at the Victory Monument in Minsk.	Wedding in Poland, 1936.
Bride and groom wearing traditional Bengali wedding costumes, from Bangladesh.	Ethnic Hakka people in a wedding in East Timor, 2006.	Japanese bride and groom, wearing white and black kimonos respectively. The Japanese bride-to-be is painted pure white from head to toe, visibly declaring her maiden status to the gods; a white hood is attached to her kimono, which the bride wears like a veil to hide her 'horns of jealousy' from the groom's mother, who will now become the head of the family.	A wedding cake.
Two decorated mustangs.	Two grooms at their same-sex wedding in Wellington, New Zealand.	A new bride tossing her flower bouquet over her shoulder.

Wedding traditions

Wedding band (or ring)
Wedding invitation
Participants in wedding ceremonies
Shotgun wedding
Tying the Knot

Ceremony aspects

Wedding cake
Wedding videography
Wedding photography
Personal wedding websites

Related travel

Honeymoon
Wedding trip (traveling to meet a bride or groom in an arranged marriage)
Las Vegas wedding

Religious aspects

Chastity
Celibacy
Spiritual marriage
Traditional marriage movement
Major world religions

Related events and social processes

Bachelor party
Banns of marriage
Betrothal
Bridal shower
Bride price
Brideservice
Dowry
Dower
Handfasting
Mayian
Prenuptial agreement
Wedding anniversary
Pakistani wedding
Shaadi

Marriageable age

2008-03-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

Marriageable age

This is an incomplete list of ages at which people are allowed to marry in various countries. This list is current, and does not treat the topic in history.

1 Africa
2 Americas
3 Asia
4 Europe
5 Oceania
6 References
7 See also

Africa

Algeria 21 for males and 18 for females, scope for judicial discretion if necessity or benefit is established for marriage below that age.^[1]
Egypt: 18 for males and 16 for females (lunar calendar).^[2]
Ethiopia: Legally 18 for both males and females. In practice, however, children in rural areas are married young. It is not uncommon to see girls as young as 6 years of age being married. It is also unusual for a girl to be 16 and yet unmarried.
Kenya: 16 for statutory marriages under the Marriage Act.^[3]
Libya: 20 years for men and women; judicial discretion for marriages below that age on grounds of benefit or necessity and with wali's agreement.^[4]
Madagascar: 17 for males, 14 for females.^[5]
Morocco: 18 years for both males and females (since the legal reform of 2004). ^[6]
Senegal: 20 for males and females.
Somalia: 18 years for both parties; female party may marry at 16 with guardian's consent; Court may grant exemption from minimum age requirements in case of necessity.^[7]
South Africa: 18, or 16 with parental consent.^[8] There are provisions made for respecting the marriage laws of traditional marriages, whereby a person might be married as young as 12 for females and 14 for males.
Sudan: Puberty, with requirement for willing consent of both parties.^[9]
Tanzania: 18 for males and 15 for females; courts may permit underage marriage of parties who have reached 14 years of age if specific circumstances make marriage appear desirable; Penal Code provides that persons of "African or Asiatic descent" may marry or permit marriage of girl under 12 years of age in accordance with their custom or religion if marriage is not intended to be consummated before she attains 12 years.^[10]
Tunisia: 20 for males and 17 for females; marriage below these ages require special permission from the court, which may be given only for pressing reasons and on the basis of a clear interest for both spouses. .^[11]

Americas

Argentina: 21 generally; with parental consent is 16 for females, 18 for males. Under these ages only exceptional cases with judicial consent (See Articles 166, 167 and 168 - Marriage Section of the Argentine Civil Code).
Brazil: 18 generally; 16 with parental consent; unlimited in case of pregnancy. Since 2003 marital status is granted by law to adolescents (legally defined as individuals from 12 to 17) living together to someone else, with family approval (article 1513 of the 2003 Civil Code).
Canada: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent, 14 with judicial consent.^{[citation needed]}
Chile: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent.
Mexico: 18 for males and females. 16 years old for both only with parental or legal consent.
Paraguay: 14 for females and 16 for males. Article 39, clause "b", of the Paraguayan Civil Code reads: “The legal incapacity of minors will cease: ...(b) for gentlemen of 16 and for women of 14 years completed, through marriage, with the limitations established in this Code”.
Peru: 18 for all
United States: Usually 18. Most states, however, allow marriage at a younger age with parental and/or judicial consent. Some states allow marriage at a still younger age if the female is pregnant.
- Alabama: 18, 16 with parental consent (statute).
- Alaska: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[12]
- Arizona: no statutory minimum, those under 18 must have parental consent, those under 16 must receive approval of a superior court judge and parental consent. (statute)
- Arkansas: 18, 16 for females and 17 for males with parental consent.^[13]
- California: no statutory minimum, those under 18 must receive approval of a superior court judge and parental consent.
- Colorado: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[14]
- Connecticut: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[15]
- District of Columbia: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[16]
- Delaware: 18, 16 for females with parental consent.^[17]
- Florida: 18, 16 with parental consent^[18]
- Georgia: 18 generally, 15 with parental consent, 16 without parental consent if pregnant^[19]
- Hawaii: 18, 15 with parental consent.^[20]
- Idaho: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[21]
- Illinois: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[22]
- Indiana: 18, 17 with parental consent.^[23]
- Iowa: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[24]
- Kansas: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[25]
- Kentucky: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[26]
- Louisiana: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[27]
- Maine: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[28]
- Massachusetts: 18 generally for first marriage, 16 with parental and judicial consent ^[29].
- Maryland: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[30]
- Michigan: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent. 15 and under with parental consent and probate judge approval.
- Minnesota: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[31]
- Mississippi: 21, 17 for males, 15 for females, with parental consent.
- Missouri: 18, 15 with parental consent.^[32]
- Montana: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[33]
- Nebraska: 19, 17 with parental consent.^[34]
- Nevada: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[35]
- New Hampshire: 18 generally; 14 for males and 13 for females, in cases of "special cause" with parental consent and court permission.
- New Jersey: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent.
- New Mexico: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[36]
- New York: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent, 14 with parental and judicial consent.
- North Carolina: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent, unlimited in case of pregnancy or birth of child with parental consent.
- North Dakota: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[37]
- Ohio: 18 for males, 16 for females. Parental consent needed for minors.
- Oklahoma: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[38]
- Oregon: 18 generally, 17 with parental consent. The consenting parent or guardian must accompany the applicant when applying for the marriage license. There is no waiver for anyone under the age of 17.
- Pennsylvania: 18 generally, 16 with Birth Certificate and written consent of parent or guardian. Anyone under the age of 16 needs parental consent and the approval of a Judge of the Orphans Court. (statute)
- Puerto Rico: 21, 18 with parental consent.^[39]
- Rhode Island: 18, 16 for females with parental consent.^[40]
- South Carolina: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[41]
- South Dakota: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[42]
- Tennessee: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[43]
- Texas: 18, 16 with parental consent. Possibly younger with judicial consent or if person under 18 had previously married and divorced.
- Utah: 18 generally for first marriage, 16 with parental consent, 14 with court approval or previous marriage.
- Vermont: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[44]
- Virginia: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[45]
- Washington: 18, 17 with parental consent.^[46] May be waived by superior court judge.(statute)
- West Virginia: 18^[47]
- Wisconsin: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[48]
- Wyoming: 18, 16 with parental consent.^[49]
Venezuela: 18 generally, 14 for females and 16 for males with parental consent.

Asia

Afghanistan: 18 for males, 14 for females, although more than half of marriages involve females under 14. ^[50]
Armenia: 18 for males, 17 for females. ^[51]
Azerbaijan: 18 for males, 17 for females. 17 or 16 correspondingly in special cases. ^[52]
China (PRC): 22 for males, 20 for females.^[53]
Hong Kong SAR of China: 21, 16 with parental consent.
Bangladesh: 21 for males and 18 for females, lunar calendar; penal sanctions for contracting under-age marriages, though such unions are not considered invalid.^[54]
Brunei: No minimum marriage age specified.^[55]
India: 21 for males, 18 for females.
Indonesia: 18 for males, 16 for females.
Iran: 15 for males, 13 for females.^[56] (girls under 13 and boys under 15 may get married with their guardian consent and court ruling that it is in their interest, rarely ever done at the age of 13/15, in some cases in late 20s)
Iraq: 18 for men and women; judicial permission may be granted at 15 years if fitness, physical capacity and guardian's consent (or unreasonable objection on part of guardian) are established. (May or may not have been revised after Saddam Hussein's fall.)^[57]
Israel: 18 for males, 17 for females.
Kazakhstan: 18 years, in special cases 16 years with parental consent ^[58]
Kuwait: No minimum marriage age identified; capacity to marry requires parties to be of age (puberty) and of sound mind, however, no notarisation or registration of marriage permitted where female has not reached 15 years or male 17 years^[59]
Lebanon: 18 years for males and 17 for females; scope for judicial discretion on basis of physical maturity and wali's permission from 17 years for males and 9 for females; real puberty or 15/9 with judicial permission for Shi'a; 18/17 or 16/15 with judicial permission for Druze.^[60]
Japan: 20 generally, 18 for males with parental consent, 16 for females with parental consent.
Jordan: 16 for males and 15 for females, lunar calendar; court permission required for females under 18 to marry men older by 20 years or more.^[61]
Maldives: According to custom, the minimum age for marriage is 15; the Law on the Protection of the Rights of the Child discourages marriage before the age of 16^[62]
Pakistan: 18 for males, 16 for females.
Philippines: 21 for males, 18 for females, 16-21 with parental consent, 22-25 with Parental Advice (parents aware of couple's intent) [5].
Singapore: 21, 18 with parental consent, below 18 with special marriage license.
South Korea: 20 generally. 18 for males, 16 for females with parental consent.
Sri Lanka: In general, the minimum marriage age is 18; for Muslims, the rule is that a girl must be 12 years of age or have a Quazi's permission to marry before contracting into marriage.^[63]
Syria: 18 years for males and 17 for females; judicial discretion for males of 15 years and females of 13 years; judge may withhold permission for marriage if court finds incompatibility in age between betrothed parties.^[64]
Taiwan (ROC): 20 generally. 18 for males, 16 for females with parental consent.
Thailand: 20, 15 with parental consent.
Uzbekistan 18 for males, 17 for females. 17 and 16 correspondingly in special conditions. ^[65]
Vietnam: 20 for males, 18 for females.
Yemen: 9 ("In 1999, the minimum marriage age of fifteen for women, rarely enforced, was abolished; the onset of puberty, interpreted to be at the age of nine, was set as a requirement for consummation of marriage."^[66])

Europe

Austria: 18, 16 with court consent (partner must be 18 or older).
Belgium: 18, 16 with parental consent.
Bulgaria: 18, 16 with parental consent.
Croatia: 18, 16 with parental consent.
Czech republic: 18, 16 for females in case of pregnacy (parental consent required).
Denmark: 18 generally, one can marry at 16 with special letter of approval from the Queen and parental consent.
Estonia: 18, 16 with parental consent.
Finland: 18 generally, under 18 with the consent of the ministry of justice in extraordinary circumstances, in which case parents or other guardian must be heard, but actual parental consent is not required.
France: 18 for males and females, without exceptions. (The 2005 law intends to protect minors from arranged childhood marriages).
Germany: 18 generally, 16 with court consent (partner must be 18 or older).
Hungary: 18, 16 with parental consent.
Republic of Ireland: 18, 16 with parental consent, below 16 with both parental and High Court consent.
Italy: 18 generally, 16 with court consent.
Lithuania: 18, 16 with court permission.
Netherlands: 18 generally, 16 with parental consent and permission from the Queen.
Norway: 18 generally, younger with consent from parents (guardian) and permission from the County Governor. The County Governor may only give permission when there are 'special reasons for contracting a marriage'. [6][7]
Poland: 18, 16 for females with court consent
Portugal: 18, 16 with parental consent (if not possible, the court can provide the consent).
Romania: 18 without exceptions [8]
Russia: 18 generally, 16 or 14 with consent of a parent or guardian (depends on region), unlimited under special circumstances.
Slovakia: 18, 16 with court consent.
Spain: 18, 16 with parental consent
Sweden: 18 generally, underage may marry with permission from the county administrative board. The county administrative board may only give permission when there are 'special reasons' but although the custodians of the underage should be heard if possible, the consent of the custodians is not required. The Swedish Matrimonial Code (SFS 1987:230), 2006-05-13
Switzerland: 18
Turkey: 18, 17 with parental consent, 16 under special circumstances with court approval.
Ukraine: 18 for males, 17 for females, 16 with parental consent.
United Kingdom^[67]
- England: 18, 16 with parental consent
- Scotland: 16
- Northern Ireland: 18, 16 with parental consent
- Jersey: 18, 16 with parental consent
- Wales: 18, 16 with parental consent

Oceania

Australia: 18, 16 with permission from a court and both parents (very rarely given).
New Zealand: 18, 16 with parental consent.

Omiai

2008-03-28T13:06:00.001-07:00

Omiai

Omiai (お見合い, literally "looking at each other") or miai (the "o" is honorific) is a Japanese custom whereby unattached individuals are introduced to each other to consider the possibility of marriage. In China, this custom is called xiangqin (相親, literally "mutual familiarity").

1 History
2 Participants
3 Nakōdo
4 Selection Process
5 Investigation
6 Miai
7 Kotowari (Excuse, Apology, Refusal)
8 Discrimination
9 Attitudes
10 Gender and Omiai
11 References
12 See also

History

In 16th century Japan the practice of Omiai emerged among the Samurai class to form and protect strong military alliances among warlords to ensure mutual support. Later, during the Tokugawa Period (1603-1868) the practice of Omiai spread to other urban classes trying to emulate Samurai customs. After the Pacific War, the trend was to abandon this restrictive arranged-marriage system, in favor of more Western ideals of love marriages (ren’ai). ^[1] Currently, it is estimated that only between ten and thirty percent of marriages in Japan are arranged. ^[1]^[2]

Participants

The participants in the Miai process include the candidates who are to potentially be married and the families of these candidates. The candidates and their families are judged on a large set of criteria aimed at determining the suitability and the balance of the marriage. This criteria is formally known in Japan as iegara (いえがら). This includes level of education, income, occupation, physical attractiveness, religion, social standing, and hobbies. ^[3] Many modern women are stereotyped as looking for three attributes: height, high salary, and high education. This is commonly known as “The Three H” syndrome. ^[3] The participant’s bloodline, or ketto (けっとう), also plays a large role. Many fear that a candidate’s blood is contaminated with diseases such as epilepsy, neurosis, or mental illness. The fear is so prevalent that the Eugenic Protection Law of 1948 was passed in order to legalize sterilization and abortion for people with a history of mental defects and other hereditary diseases. ^[3] Social status also plays a large role in selecting a candidate. Ideally, paired candidates and their families should be of equal social status. ^[3] A candidate will have a hard time finding a mate if his family is not of a matching social status as the other family – even if the candidate is of equal social status. ^[3] Family lineage can also affect the quality of a candidate. For example, a candidate with samurai blood is more likely to be picked than one with ancestry from a different Tokugawa-era class. ^[3]

Nakōdo

A nakōdo (仲人) serves the role of a go-between between families in the Miai process. Traditionally the nakōdo is a family member or friend who is very in touch with the community and who knows many eligible candidates that might match the inquiring candidate’s needs. ^[3] Professional organizations have also begun to provide go-between services for inquiring candidates. ^[3] These professional nakōdo are known as Pro Nakōdo. ^[3] The general purpose of the nakōdo is to provide introductions for people entering a new arrangement situation and to assist shy candidates. ^[4] The nakōdo is expected to play a variety of roles throughout the miai process. The first is the bridging role, hashikake (はしかけ), in which the nakōdo introduces potential candidates and families to each other. The second role is as a liaison for the two families. This role helps to avoid direct confrontation and differences in opinions between the families by serving as an intermediary for working out the details of the marriage. The third role is that of a guarantor who will help to mediate the couple in the case of marital disputes or to arrange a divorce in more serious situations. ^[4] In return for serving and assisting the participants, sometimes the nakōdo will be given a percentage (10%) of the wedding preparation money that the groom gives the bride. ^[2] Even though Omiai marriages are not as common as they once were, they still hold a place in popular media. One example is “Wedding Bells”, a game show that substitutes for the role of the nakōdo in which contestants are introduced and screened for marriage possibility.

Selection Process

The initiative for the Omiai introductions often comes from the parents who may feel that their son or daughter is of a marriageable age, (tekireiki) usually in the range of 22 to 30, but has shown little or no sign of seeking a partner on their own. Other times, the individual may ask friends or acquaintances to introduce potential mates in a similar way. Parents will often subtly interject the phrase, “Onegai Shimasu” (“I make the request”) into casual conversation, ^[4] which implies that both parents have authorized consent for their daughter to meet eligible men. ^[5] The daughter may be unaware that her parents have suggested her availability though the use of Onegai Shimasu. ^[5] Moreover, some parents will also send a candidacy picture to a future husband or go-between without their daughter’s knowledge or consent. ^[5] Parents may also enlist the aid of a nakōdo or ask a third party with a wide range of social contacts to act as a go-between. The word Omiai is used to describe both the entire process as well as the first meeting between the couple and the nakōdo. Omiai signifies that the parties were brought together expressly for the purpose of marriage on the initiative of the parents, a friend of the family or a go- between. It also means that the initial criteria of selection were objective ones. ^[6] The potential mate and their family will meet with the nakōdo and examine all eligible persons. The nakōdo will often possess photographs of candidates and a “rirekisho”, a small personal history. ^[4] The rirekisho frequently includes the name, age, health, education, occupation and marital status of all members of the candidate’s family. The families will then sit down with the nakōdo and screen the portfolios to eliminate any obviously inappropriate cases. ^[7] Both the photographs and “rirekisho” may also be brought to the home of the potential mate’s family for the son or daughter to scrutinize. ^[8] The participant and their family will examine the photos and short personal histories based on an investigation of social consideration. The educational level and occupations of the potential candidate’s family are the first aspects taken into consideration at this meeting. ^[8] The potential mate and their mother will create a list of primary choices and ask the nakōdo to investigate the first choice. ^[3]

Investigation

The nakōdo will provide a substantial amount of information regarding each candidate. The family will research the iegara, of each candidate provided by the nakōdo once the preliminary list is constructed. Vast differences in iegara between the two families would cause embarrassment to both sides whenever they meet. ^[3] One method of investigation in urban Japan is through a Kooshinjo, or detective agency. In rural areas a common investigative method is to personally ask about the family of interest by questioning shopkeepers and neighbors, Kuchikiki (“inquiry of mouth”). ^[4] More recently, the nakōdo will gather information about the family in question by both asking around and comparing responses, Kikiaweseru/ toriawaseru (“inquire variously and compare”). If all criteria are acceptable, the matchmaker will arrange an interview for a miai. ^[6]

Miai

Before the miai occurs, both parties will scrutinize each other’s pictures to prevent future rejection. ^[9] Although candidates rely on their photographs and resumes (rirekisho) in the modern miai process, an older custom known as ‘kagemi” (hidden look) was once employed. Kagemi occurred when a potential male candidate attempted to catch a glimpse of the girl in secret. The objective of the kagemi was to prevent embarrassing denials based on appearances. ^[4] The miai itself is a casual meeting between the potential couple, the nakōdo, and the parents of both parties. The nakōdo will determine the place and format of the meeting. The miai is just as much an opportunity for parents to survey the bride/groom as the couple themselves. The meeting begins with an informal introduction between the two families by the nakōdo. The introduction is often followed by small talk between the parents. Occasionally, the conversation will shift to one of the potential candidates. Towards the end of the meeting, the potential couple will be advised to go off spend some time alone to get better acquainted with each other.

Kotowari (Excuse, Apology, Refusal)

If the initial miai introduction is successful, the potential couple will go through a series of dates, “odeto” until a decision is reached. The decision is usually expressed at the couple’s third meeting. If the potential couple chooses to marry one another, they will go through a formal marriage process known as Miai-gekkon ^[10], in which a “Yui-no”, or betrothal ceremony, will be arranged by the groom’s family. ^[5] Contrastingly, there are standard provisions to turn down an offer or proposal with relatively little loss of face on the part of the party refused. ^[4]

Discrimination

There is some amount of racial, class, and genetic discrimination apparent in the Miai process. Many Japan-born Koreans are immediately discriminated against for being “half-bloods” – not of full Japanese ancestry ^[3]. Also, women born on the year of the horse in the fifth cycle of the Japanese lunar calendar, “hinoeuma” – every sixtieth year, are thought to be bad luck. ^[3]^[11] Women born during this year will often claim to have been born in the previous or following year. The belief is so widespread that in 1966, according to the Japanese Statistical Yearbook, the birthrate in Japan actually took a dip. ^[8] The most widespread class discriminate is against members of the burakumin (部落民). This former outcaste group is composed of workers traditionally associated with trades involving blood, death, or other undesirables. Some examples are leather-workers, shoe-menders, and butchers since shoes are too dirty to be taken into the house and meat was in the past forbidden by the Buddhist faith. ^[3] In the era of the Tokugawa Shogunate demotion to the status of a burakumin was sometimes a way of punishment for criminals. ^[12] Today, burakumin members may be identified by the region of the city in which they live or by their street address. ^[3] Often, a nakōdo will require a candidate to bring a family history in order to prove that they are not in fact a member of the burakumin. ^[4] There are also other subcultures which are discriminated against in the Miai process. Members of the Ainu, an indigenous people from the Hokkaido region are commonly avoided as well. Recently, descendants of people who were exposed to the radiation from the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki are also avoided due to stories of possible child deformities and susceptibilities to rare diseases. ^[4]

Attitudes

Modern attitudes toward miai have changed significantly. Only ten to thirty per cent of all marriages taking place in Japan at present are arranged marriages. ^[8]^[10]^[2]^[13] The younger generation is more apt to adopting the Western philosophy of love where marriage is often preceded by romantic courtship. ^[3] Romantic love, or ren’ai implies that there are no constraints against selecting individuals with whom one can marry. ^[3] However, it is not always possible to classify a particular marriage as “love” or “arranged” because of parental influence on the candidates. ^[9] Women are more inclined to seek a romantic relationship than men. Gender enculturation is often seen as the cause for the discrepancy. Women are raised with the expectation that they may only find satisfaction within the home and are therefore perhaps more susceptible to modern brands of idealism, such as that true love will be followed by marital and domestic bliss. ^[3] There are several methods for meeting potential mates that differ from the structure of the Omiai. For example, Konpa or Compa (companion) is a method young people have adopted into modern society. ^[14] Konpa occurs when groups of four or five boys go out together with the same number of girls to see how they all get along. ^[4] This particular method has become more popular since it is highly informal and does not involve parents. ^[14]

Gender and Omiai

Although current rates of Omiai marriages are fairly low, encompassing only about twenty-five to thirty percent of all marriages, the persistence of Omiai in modern Japanese society can be explained by examining gender relationships. As discussed earlier, people that are past marriageable age, tekireiki are more likely to utilize the Omiai process. The idea of the cutoff age is still taken quite seriously. ^[9] Women who remain unmarried past tekireiki are treated as inferior and compared to Christmas cake (kurisumasu keeki) fresh up until the twenty-fifth but on each succeeding day the cake becomes less appetizing and edible. ^[3] A newer expression replaces Christmas cake with toshikoshisoba, or a dish of noodles drunk to see out the year on the thirty-first. ^[9]

Males seem to possess only a bit more latitude. A man who does not marry by about 30 is considered untrustworthy by colleagues and employers, who believe that such men have not been conditioned to learn the fundamental principles of co-operation and responsibility. ^[3] For males, marriage also makes an implicit statement about staying in the family business. ^[9] Males that engage in Omiai often occupy dominant roles within the marriage. ^[7] Omiai marriage has been criticized for promoting patriarchal relationships with traditional power structures and distinct divisions of labor between males and females. ^[7] While males are seen as the dominant providers, women are seen as symbols of cultural refinement through their participation in ceremonies such as flower arranging and tea ceremony.

Marriage in Hinduism

2008-03-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

Marriage in Hinduism

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A Hindu marriage joins two individuals for life, so that they can pursue dharma, artha (possessions) and kama (physical desires) together. It also joins two families. The colours are normally red and gold.

1 Arranging the marriage
2 The wedding
- 2.1 Types of Hindu marriage and rituals
- 2.2 Symbolic rituals worn by married Hindu women
3 Modernity
4 See also

Arranging the marriage

Traditionally, Hindu parents look for a prospective match for their son/daughter from their own community also known as arranged marriage. Elders in the family and parents seek the prospective match through word of mouth within the community. The use of jathakam (astrological chart at the time of birth) of the son/daughter to match with the help of a priest is common, but not universal. Parents also take advice from the brahmin called 'panthulu' in Telugu who has details of many people looking to get married. Some communities, like the Brahmins in Mithila, use genealogical records ("Panjikas") maintained by the specialists.

Jathakam is drawn based on the placement of the stars and planets at the time of birth. The maximum points for any match can be 36 and the minimum points for matching is 18. Any match with points under 18 is not considered as an auspicious match for a harmonial relationship. If the astrological chart of the two individuals (male and female) achieve the required threshold in points then further talks are considered for prospective marriage. Also the man and woman are given chance to talk and understand each other in the duration anywhere from 15 minutes to one hour. Once there is an agreement then an auspicious time is chosen for the wedding to take place.

The wedding

Main article: Hindu wedding

Wedding ceremonies can be expensive, and costs are typically borne by the parents. It's not uncommon for middle-or upper-class weddings to have a guest list of over 500 people. A live instrumental band is played in some parts where as some marriages have baratis (the bridegroom's family) dancing to music just before coming to the wedding venue. Vedic rituals are performed and the family and friends then bless the couple. Food is served to all the invitees with lots of delicacies. The wedding celebrations can take up to one week depending on the practice in that different parts of India.

Types of Hindu marriage and rituals

Historically the so called vedic marriage was but one of the few different types of Hindu marriage customs. Love marriage was also seen in historical Hindu literature and has been variously described in many names: eg Gandharva vivaha etc. In certain poor vaishnav communities still there is a custom called kanthi-badal which is exchange of bead-garlands as a very simplified form of ritual in solitude in front of an idol of Krishna, considered a form of acceptable love marriage.

Elopement has also been described in old Hindu literature. Lord Krishna himself Eloped Rukmini on horse chariot. It is written that Rukmini's father was going to marry her to Shishupal, against her wishes. Rukimini sent a letter to Krishna informing of a place and time to pick her up.

Symbolic rituals worn by married Hindu women

The married Hindu women in different parts of India follow different customs. In some places, in especially eastern India, they put on vermilion on the hair parting, wear a pair of conch bangles (shankha), a pair of red bangles(pala) and an iron bangle on the left hand (loha) while their husband is alive. In Tamil Nadu, a married woman is required to wear a necklace with a distinctive pendant called a thali and silver toerings. Both are put on her by the husband during the wedding ceremony. The pendant on the thali is custom-made and it's design is different from family to family. Apart from this, the married woman also wears a red vermilion dot on her forehead called a Kunguma pottu and (whenever possible) flowers in her hair and colured glass bangles. The married woman should give up all of these when her husband dies.

Modernity

Many people believe that arranged marriage is the traditional form of marriage in India and that love marriage is a modern form that is currently becoming more and more acceptable. Love marriage differs from an "arranged marriage" in that the couple, rather than the parents, choose their own partner. However, there are various instances from ancient scriptures of Hinduism, namely Ramayana and Mahabhagavatham (life of Lord Krishna), Mahabaratha, etc., of the romantic love marriages that were also acceptable form of marriage even in ancient times. Examples: the wedding of King Dashratha and Kaushalya, the wedding of Krishna and Princess Rukmini, the wedding of King Shanthanu and the boatman's daughter Sathyavathi... in all these weddings, there were no considerations of caste, creed, wealth, position, etc., but only the love of the two people getting married. Somewhere in the course of time, arranged marriages had become predominant and love marriages became unacceptable by the society. Nowadays, "love marriages" are being accepted again.

In practice, arranged marriages usually involve the consent of the boy and the girl. Love marriages usually involve consent (sometimes grudging) of the parents.

Bride price

2008-03-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

Bride price

Close relationships

Affinity • Attachment • Bonding • Casual • Cohabitation • Compersion • Concubinage • Courtship • Divorce • Dower, dowry, and bride price • Family • Friendship • Husband • Infatuation • Intimacy • Jealousy • Limerence • Love • Marriage • Monogamy • Nonmonogamy • Office romance • Partner • Passion • Pederasty • Platonic love • Polyamory • Polyfidelity • Polygamy • Psychology of monogamy • Relationship abuse • Romance • Separation • Sexuality • Wedding • Widowhood • Wife This box: view • talk • edit

Bride price also known as bride wealth is an amount of money or property or wealth paid to the parents of a woman for the right to marry their daughter. (Compare dowry, which is paid to the groom, or used by the bride to help establish the new household, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage.) In the anthropological literature bride price has often been explained in market terms, as payment made in exchange for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kin group. Compare this affinal practice with brideservice, which does not rely on a compensatory exchange idiom for ethnological interpretation.

The same culture may simultaneously practice both dowry and bride price.

Many cultures practiced bride price prior to any existing records.

History of the tradition

The Code of Hammurabi mentions bride price in various laws, as an established custom. It is not the paying of the bride price that is prescribed, but the regulation of various aspects:

a man who paid the bride price but looked for another bride would not get a refund, but he would if the father of the bride refused the match.
if a wife died without sons, her father was entitled to the return of her dowry, minus the value of the bride price.

The Hebrew Bible and Talmud mention the practice of paying a bride price to the father of a minor girl.

The practice of the bride price is found in the Bible, in the Old Testament. Exodus 22:15-16 says: "And if a man entice a virgin that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins." JPS 1917 [1]

"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins." NIV

And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. KJV

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 states similarly: "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days." KJV

The Greeks practiced bride price in archaic times, and in the Odyssey, Telemachus complains of the suitors wooing his mother Penelope

They are too craven to go to the house of her father Icarius, that he may himself set the bride-price for his daughter, and bestow her on whom he will, even on him who finds favour in his sight.

and the custom lasts into classical times, by which time it had become a token sum of less value than the bride's dowry.

In Islamic marriage laws, Mahr is paid (or promised to be paid in case of divorce) by the groom to the bride (as opposed to the bride's father). It is mandatory.

The tradition of giving bride price is still practiced in many Asian countries although the amount changing hands is more a token amount to continue the traditional ritual then an actual price-tag attached to the bride-to-be for marriage.

In traditional Chinese culture, an auspicious date is selected to Ti Qin (literally meaning "propose marriage"), where both families will meet to discuss the amount of the bride price demanded, among other things. A couple of weeks before the actual wedding, the ritual of Guo Da Li (literally meaning "performing the rites") takes place (on an auspicious date of course). The groom and a matchmaker will visit the bride's family bearing gifts like wedding cakes, sweetmeats and jewelry as well as the bride price. On the actual wedding day, the bride's family will return a portion of the bride price (sometimes in the form of dowry) as a goodwill gesture.

The practice of bride price also existed in India, where it was considered as a social evil and the subject of a movement to eradicate it in the early 20th Century. Unlike what happened in the case of dowry, this movement was largely successful, although it has been making a comeback in recent years due to an increasing shortage of women.

In parts of Africa the validity of a traditional marriage ceremony depends on the payment of a bride price, which can vary from a token amount to an exorbitant sum. Lobola is a similar tradition in southern Africa.

This practice contrasts sharply with the poorly understood nuptial arrangement known as brideservice, which is noted in other regions of the world, such as among Native Amazonian Peoples, like the Urarina of Peru.

The tradition in art

A famous Telugu play "Kanyasulkam" (Bride Price) satirised the practice and the brahminical notions that kept it alive. Though the practice no longer exists in India, the play, and the movie based on it, are still extremely popular in Andhra Pradesh.
A popular Mormon story, Johnny Lingo uses a bride price of a shocking amount in one of its most pivotal scenes.
A novel named "The Bride Price", by Buchi Emecheta.

Stockholm syndrome

2008-03-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

Stockholm syndrome

For other uses, see Stockholm syndrome (disambiguation).

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in an abducted hostage, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger (or at least risk) in which the hostage has been placed. Stockholm syndrome is also sometimes discussed in reference to other situations with similar tensions, such as battered person syndrome, rape cases, child abuse cases and bride kidnapping. The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, Stockholm, Sweden, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28 in 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimizers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term Stockholm Syndrome was coined by the criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.

1 Other uses
2 Psychoanalytic explanations
3 Sociological explanation
4 Possible examples of Stockholm Syndrome
5 Lima syndrome
6 In Popular Media
7 External links

Other uses

Loyalty to a more powerful abuser — in spite of the danger that this loyalty puts the victim in — is common among victims of domestic abuse, battered partners and child abuse (dependent children). In many instances the victims choose to remain loyal to their abuser, and choose not to leave him or her, even when they are offered a safe placement in foster homes or safe houses. This unhealthy type of mental phenomenon is also known as Trauma-Bonding or Bonding-to-the-Perpetrator. This syndrome was described by psychoanalysts of the object relations theory school (see Fairbairn) as the phenomenon of psychological identification with the more powerful abuser. A variant of Stockholm Syndrome includes cases of abusive parents and abusive siblings in which the victim, even after entering adulthood, still justifies the family abuse.

Psychoanalytic explanations

According to the psychoanalytic view of the syndrome, the tendency might well be the result of employing the strategy evolved by newborn babies to form an emotional attachment to the nearest powerful adult in order to maximize the probability that this adult will enable — at the very least — the survival of the child, if not also prove to be a good parental figure. This syndrome is considered a prime example for the defense mechanism of identification.^[1]

Sociological explanation

Based on the capital theory by Pierre Bourdieu, five forms of capital from the economic to the symbolic are constantly fought over in the society. Social actions amount to capital which can be used for power in various fields of social interaction. This power depends on violently preventing others from accessing capital and it is the opposite to a non-violent social action, where the capitals are used to increase the capital possessed by others. In the marxist class theory, capital is essential for self-realization. It has been proposed that traditions maintain the class society and forms of capitalist violence. In a hostage situation, these traditions are by-passed in a way which may allow an unforeseen action from a lower class person to gain capital. As personal interests are in conflict with the traditional culture, this lapse of tradition provides to the victims an independent forum where they interpret the actions of the abductor outside traditional norms and relate to the abductor in a compassionate way. This may lead to the need of assuring that the powerfully felt struggle for social equality of the abductor succeeds. This need may be accompanied by a sense of security, which exists between a loyal person and the abductor. this explanation can be linked to the psychologist Aymon Hamdi.

Possible examples of Stockholm Syndrome

Colleen Stan, a.k.a. "Carol Smith" was held captive from 1977 until 1984 by Cameron and Janice Hooker in locked wooden boxes. She slept in a coffin-like box under the Hookers' bed. During her imprisonment Colleen was consistently tortured and sexually assaulted to the point of complete mental and physical subservience. Yet through it all, she stayed, even when it seemed she could escape. In the end, it would be left to a jury to answer the question: Was Colleen Stan brainwashed and forced to endure years of sexual degradation and mental torture as she and Janice Hooker contended, or a willing partner in her own enslavement, and as Cameron Hooker maintained, in a consensual "love" relationship? For an in-depth synopsis of the case, see The Case of the Seven Year Sex Slave and Perfect Victim: The True Story of "The Girl in the Box" by the D.A. That Prosecuted Her Captor [ISBN 978-0440204428]. Also documented with A&E's 'American Justice" episode 166.

Millionaire heiress Patty Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army. After two months in captivity, she actively took part in a robbery they were orchestrating. Her unsuccessful legal defense was that she suffered from Stockholm syndrome and was coerced into aiding the SLA. She was convicted and imprisoned for her actions in the robbery, though her sentence was commuted in February 1979 by President Jimmy Carter, and she received a Presidential pardon from Bill Clinton.

Natascha Kampusch, a 10-year old Austrian child who was kidnapped by Wolfgang Priklopil before escaping at the age of 18 in 2006, showed signs of having suffered from Stockholm syndrome, as evidenced by her grieving after her captor's suicide.^[2]

Shawn Hornbeck was kidnapped at age 11 in 2002 and held for four years by Michael J. Devlin in Missouri. Shawn Hornbeck started using Devlin's last name and despite talking to police on two separate occasions about other unrelated matters Shawn Hornbeck did not seek the assistance of law enforcement. There have been many questions raised in the media reports surrounding his rescue in January 2007 about why he did not speak out earlier leading to reported speculation that he suffered from Stockholm Syndrome. However, there are many, including other victims of sexual abuse, and others who have been victims of kidnappings, who have expressed their understanding and support Shawn's decisions not to make an attempt to escape.^[3]

Elizabeth Smart, a 14 year old girl, was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City in June 2002 by two members of a fundamentalist polygamist sect, the homeless preacher Brian David "Emmanuel" Mitchell and his wife Wanda Barzee. At first Smart was kept tethered to a tree in a wooded canyon, dressed in white robes, and confined to a twenty-foot long trough with a lean-to over it, but after two months, the couple was able to take the girl with them to restaurants and other public places, her face veiled, and she no longer tried to escape. The trio travelled to San Diego, California and Las Vegas, Nevada, with Smart claiming to be the couple's daughter, but they eventually returned to Utah. By this time, Smart had become so attached to her captors that when she was finally approached by Utah law enforcement officials, who had been searching for her for nine months, she told them that she was 18 years old and Mitchell's polygamous wife. Only when she was shown a picture of herself as she had looked before her abduction did she admit that she was, in fact, Elizabeth Smart.^[4]

Lima syndrome

The Japanese embassy hostage crisis in December 1996 is currently touted as an example of so-called Lima Syndrome, in which the opposite effects from the Stockholm syndrome came into light. Rather than the captives becoming submissive, this incident showed signs of the MRTA guerrillas becoming more sympathetic to the plights and needs of their hostages.

In Popular Media

In the book Spook Country by William Gibson, the character Hollis Henry mentions a friend who thinks that "America had developed Stockholm syndrome toward its own government, post 9/11."

The condition is erroneously referred to as Helsinki syndrome in the film Die Hard, the X-Files episode "Folie a Deux", and the Babylon 5 episode "The Illusion of Truth".

"Stockholm Syndrome" is the title of songs by Yo La Tengo, Muse, Blink-182 and Milburn.

The Who released a song about Stockholm Syndrome called "Black Widow's Eyes" on their 2006 album Endless Wire.

Dee, a character on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, fell victim to Stockholm Syndrome in an episode in which their bar, Paddy's, is held hostage.

In an episode of the cartoon Futurama, when Bender and everyone else are taken hostage by another robot, Bender states "Hang on, I think I'm coming down with Stockholm Syndrome.... handsome."

In the video game Metal Gear Solid, Snake tells Otacon while he is locked up that it seems like Otacons affection for a female mercenary trying to kill Snake is Stockholm Syndrome

In a book by Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope, Sunny Baudelaire is kidnapped by Count Olaf on Mount Fraught. The narrator describes Stockholm Syndrome, then says that Sunny is experiencing Mount Fraught Syndrome, where the kidnappee becomes less and less sympathetic with their kidnapper.

Stockholm Syndrome is mentioned in the James Bond film The World is Not Enough and may be the reason why Elektra King effectively helps to murder her father and supports the terrorist Renard, her kidnapper.

In the episode of House, MD entitled "Occam's Razor", Dr. Foreman suggests that Dr. Cameron and Dr. Chase only agree with Dr. House because they are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

In an episode of The Simpsons where The Simpsons go to Brazil to rescue an orphaned child, Homer is abducted by a taxi driver, and it is said by one of the kidnappers that Homer is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

In an episode of The Unit the team rescues a hostage, only to find he is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and attempts to kill Jonas.

In the film, Never Say Never Again, a woman suffering from Stockholm Syndrome attacks James Bond in a training exercise.

In the film, The Last Samurai, Captain Nathan Algren, an American military officer hired by the Emperor to train the Japanese army in the art of modern warfare, is captured by a Samurai group, becomes sympathetic, is eventually trained and fights to the death against the Emperor's army.

In the mini series Kill Point, one of the hostages falls victim to Stockholm Syndrome when she becomes close to Mr. Wolf the leader of the bankrobbers.

In the T.V series 'Lipstick Jungle' Season 1 Episode 6 the character Joe Bennet refers to Stockholm syndrome.

Marriage in South Korea

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Marriage in South Korea

Marriage in South Korea is similar to that of the western counterparts, but has unique features of its own.

1 Eligibility
- 1.1 Marriage within the same ancestral clan
2 Traditional wedding ceremonies
- 2.1 The bride's attire
- 2.2 The groom's attire
3 Modern style wedding ceremonies
- 3.1 Pratices before weddings
- 3.2 Wedding Halls
- 3.3 Wedding feast and reception
4 Current practice
- 4.1 First marriage
- 4.2 Sociopolitics of marriage
- 4.3 Wedding gifts
- 4.4 Marriages within chaebols
- 4.5 International Marriages of Koreans and Non-Koreans
- 4.6 Brides Imported from China, Vietnam and Other Countries
- 4.7 Same-sex marriage
5 Type of marriages
- 5.1 Arranged marriage
- 5.2 Love marriage
- 5.3 Matchmakers
- 5.4 Remarriage
- 5.5 Marriage agencies
6 Divorce
7 References

Eligibility

Marriage in South Korea is a union between a man and a woman. A man over 18 and a woman over 16 years old can marry with their parents' or guardians' consent, and a person over 20 can marry freely.

Marriage within the same ancestral clan

Main article: Article 809 of the Korean Civil Code

In the past it was generally considered a taboo for a man and a woman to marry if they both have the same last name from the same ancestor. From this cultural influence, the article 809 of the Korean Civil code regulated marriages within a clan in the past, considering it as a type of exogamy. However, the Korean constitutional Court found this piece of legislation unconstitutional and asked for an amendment by the legislative branch in a 1997 decision. (5 judges found it unconstitutional and 2 asked for amendment by the legislative branch and 2 opposed to the outcome of this decision) The court specifically asked the legislative branch to amend the current civil code article 809 para 1 by the end of 1998 and hold further adjudication of this legislation. However, with the legislative branch not providing an additional legislation to oppose the decision by the Constitutional court, the decision was set to be final, allowing the people within the same ancestral clans to marry each other.

Traditional wedding ceremonies

Traditional Wedding

In ancient times, weddings were held in the bride's yard or house. The groom traveled by horse to the bride's house and after the wedding ceremony took his wife in a palanquin (cart) to his parents' house to live. The bride and groom wore formal court costumes for the wedding ceremony. Ordinary people were permitted to wear the luxurious clothes only on their wedding day. Hand lanterns are used for lighting the way from the groom's home to the bride's home on the night before the wedding. Traditionally, the groom's family would carry a wedding chest filled with gifts for the bride's family. Wedding ducks are a symbol for a long and happy marriage. Cranes are a symbol of long life and may be represented on the woman's sash.

These customs are still in practice today.

The bride's attire

The women's attire includes a jeogori (저고리, short jacket with long sleeves) with 2 long ribbons which are tied to form the otgoreum (옷고름). A chima (치마), a full length, high waisted wrap around skirt is worn. (See Chima jeogori or Hanbok) Boat shaped shoes make of silk, are worn with white cotton socks. The bride's attire might include a white sash with significant symbols or flowers. A headpiece or crown may also be worn. The norigae (노리개) is a hanbok (한복) decoration which has been worn by all classes of Korean women for centuries. It is tied to the skirt or the ribbon on the jacket. The knot on the top is called the Maedeup (매듭).

The groom's attire

A jacket (jeogori, 저고리) and trousers and an overcoat are worn. The jacket has loose sleeves, the trousers are roomy and tied with straps at the ankles. A vest may be worn over the shirt. A black hat could be worn.

Modern style wedding ceremonies

In larger cities, luxury hotels will have 'wedding halls' or ballrooms used specifically for wedding ceremonies. These rooms are decorated with a wedding motif and are rented to couples. Other wedding halls are independent facilities that can accommodate several different weddings at once.

Today, many couples will initially have a more 'Westernized' ceremony with tuxedo attire and white wedding gown, then proceed with a smaller-scale, traditional wedding after the main ceremony.

Pratices before weddings

Various exchanges that are so crucial to the Korean wedding. Those of household goods (Honsu); gifts of clothing and jewelry between the bride and groom (Yedan, Chedan and Paemul); gifts given to the significant kin of the groom ('Yedan); gifts of cash from the groom's kin to the bride (Cholgap), and from the bride's family to the groom's friends (Hamgap); and exchanges of food and wine between the two families (Sangsu) though not all practices are still common.

The exchanges that are still common are those of ritual silk (Yedan), given by the bride to the groom's significant kin, and the negotiation of the purchase price of the gift box (Hamgap) delivered on the night before the wedding to the bride's house by friends of the groom. Indeed, her final chapter is dedicated to a wonderful economic anthropological consideration of the obligations and expectations of the various parties to the transaction of the gift box price. It is also in this chapter that considerations of the groom and his friends--the male side of getting married in Korea--receive attention.

Wedding Halls

Whereas a hotel ballroom or church must retain the flexibility necessary for other functions, independent wedding halls are able to focus strictly on weddings, and even cater to specific themes. Weddings in luxurious hotels had been prohibited by government in 1980, became partly permitted in 1994, and completely available for the general in 1999.^[1]

In busier wedding halls, the formality (outside the couple and their families) is typically relaxed compared to Western standards. There may be a buffet hall on one floor in which guests from all the different weddings come for a meal, either before or after the ceremony, which may take no longer than 20 minutes.

The most common gift for a new couple is cash, and in the hall outside the wedding salon, representatives from the couple's families will collect and log donations.

Wedding feast and reception

The modern Korean wedding feast or reception, (kyorhon piroyon, 결혼 피로연) can be a mix of traditional and western cultures. At a traditional wedding feast a guest would expect to find bulgogi (불고기, marinated barbecue beef strips), galbi (갈비, marinated short ribs), a variety of kimchi (pickled cabbage with a variety of spices, with other ingredients such as radishes, seafood). There will be many accompanying bowls of sauces for dipping.

The meal is always accompanied with a vast quantity of white, sticky rice (밥, bap) as well as gimbap (김밥), which is rice, egg, spinach, crab meats, pickled radish, and other ingredients rolled in seaweed and sliced into 1-inch rounds. Mandu (만두), dumplings filled with cabbage, carrots, meat, spinach, garlic, onions, chives, and clear noodles. These dumplings may be deep-fried or steamed. Soup will be offered, very frequently a kimchi type, or a rice cake soup (rice dumplings with chicken broth), or Doenjang guk, a fermented soybean paste soup with clams.

Also popular are a light broth boiled from dried anchovies and vegetable soups rendered from dried spinach, sliced radish or dried seaweed. Steamed rice cakes (tteok) sometimes embellished with aromatic mugwort leaves or dusted with toasted soy, barley, or millet flour are presented as tasty ritual food.

A large variety of fruits, such as Korean pears, and pastries will be offered for dessert. A spoon and chopsticks are used for eating.

Current practice

First marriage

As of 2007, according to Korea National Statistical Office, the average age of the first marriage is 31.1 for men and 28.1 for women.^[2]

Sociopolitics of marriage

In a large number of marriages, the male is older than the female. This age disparity is usually intentional. The woman always seeks a man who is at least equal to if not higher than her in socio-economic status. Rarely does an arranged marriage happen where the man is lower in socio-economic status than the woman, either in socio-economic status, class or by height.

Wedding gifts

If someone brings a gift to the wedding, it is not expected that the gift will be opened immediately. The Korean custom is to open gifts in private.

Marriages within chaebols

(Korean) A diagram of marriages between chaebols

Families of large conglomerates or chaebols such as Samsung Group, LG Group, SK Group, Hyundai Group, etc. are closely connected with marriage chains interlinking each other.

International Marriages of Koreans and Non-Koreans

There were 43,121 international marriages between Koreans and non-Koreans in 2005, up 21.6 percent from a year earlier, according to Korea National Statistics Office data published in the Korea Times newspaper on March 30, 2006 ^[3]. Fourteen out of 100 couples who married in 2005 were international couples. The largest group of South Koreans marrying foreign spouses has been men who marry Chinese, Vietnamese or Filipina women. South Korean women who married foreign men have most often married Chinese or Japanese. Close to twelve percent of those marrying foreigners married Americans in 2005.

Brides Imported from China, Vietnam and Other Countries

In recent times, about one third of South Korean men in rural areas married women from abroad, according to Korea National Statistics Office data published in the Chosun Daily newspaper on March 30, 2006 ^[4].

Brides have come to South Korea mainly from China, Vietnam, and in a distant 4th, the Philippines^[5]. The most common explanation for this phenomenon is that there is a lack of South Korean women who are willing to marry men living in rural areas. Chinese citizens who are ethnic Koreans (called "Joseon-jok" by South Koreans) and Vietnamese are preferred as imported brides, although there are also a significant number of ethnic Chinese brides as well. Joseon-jok from China have the same ethnic background as Koreans, thus easily explaining their popularity. It is said among South Koreans that Vietnamese and Chinese brides are popular for many rural South Korean men because of their appearance and also the likelihood that they have experience in farming. Also, many Koreans believe women from these countries are more capable of adapting to their new environment compared to women from other countries, and become dedicated and loyal wives.

Economic factors play a strong role in these marriages, as it is usually less educated Korean men from rural areas who marry mostly less educated and poor foreign brides.

Marriages between South Korean men and foreign women are often arranged by marriage brokers or international religious groups. There is mounting evidence to suggest that there is a statistically higher level of poverty, violence and divorce in the Korean men married to foreign women cohort ^[6], ^[7]^[8].

Same-sex marriage

Same-sex marriage is not legally-recognised in South Korea. Homosexuality is strongly criticized in mainstream Korean society, and many Koreans consider homosexuality to be a Western phenomenon. However, recent blockbuster movies such as The King and the Clown have raised the issue of homosexuality in Korea, and homosexuality is becoming more accepted. Despite the illegality of same-sex marriage in Korea, though, more and more gay couples are marrying in private ceremonies, especially since the coming-out of popular Korean actor Hong Suk-cheon in 2000. The first public gay marriage was on March 7, 2004. ^[9]

Type of marriages

Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage is popular in South Korea. Koreans usually refer to this type of marriage as Seon (선). Generally, parents arrange a meeting. The reason why this type of marriage is prevalent in Korea is that marriage in Korea is not just a matter of a bride and groom but a merging of two families. Because the potential spouses are pre-screened by the family, there is much less of a chance of family opposition to the marriage. It is extremely rare that a single Seon leads to a marriage; many succeed in finding a suitable spouse only after dozens of Seon meetings with different individuals. Following the initial meeting, the couple typically date for several months to a year before the actual marriage. The distinction between an arranged marriage and a "love" marriage is therefore often blurred, although in an arranged marriage the families tend to be more closely involved throughout.

Love marriage

"Love" marriage, as it is often called in South Korea, has become common in the past few decades. The expression refers to the marriage of two people who meet and fall in love without going through matchmakers or family-arranged meetings . Most often, the bride and groom first met on a blind date arranged by friends, on a group date, at their workplace, or while in college or university. South Korean families accept this type of marriage more readily than they used to, although it is not uncommon for romantic relationships to end without resulting in a marriage because of family opposition. Surveys indicate that the majority of young Koreans would rather end a relationship than to marry despite parental opposition.

Matchmakers

Matchmakers are common in South Korea. Families present their son or daughter to a matchmaker, or a single man or woman arranges a meeting with a matchmaker, to analyze their resume and family history for the purpose of finding a marriage partner who is compatible in social status and earning potential. Koreans keep precise lineage records, and these are listed on the matchmaking resume. Today, almost all single people meet their matched partner prior to the marriage and have more say about the match than was previously allowed. Matchmakers earn a fee for their services.

Remarriage

Remarriages are becoming more common in South Korea. According to South Korean government statistics reported in the Korea Times newspaper, the number of remarriages went up 16.1 percent to 44,355 in 2004. ^[10] The number of elderly Koreans remarrying has doubled since 1995.^[11] The South Korean marriage agency Duo first began advertising its remarriage services in 2006.

Marriage agencies

The top three marriage agencies in South Korea are Duo, Sunoo and Piery.

Divorce

Divorce, once almost nonexistent, first appeared in significant numbers in the 1970s, now it is very common. Rapidly changing attitudes toward divorce, as well as such other issues as marriage, childbearing and cohabitation, show a South Korea in the throes of a social transformation. Still anchored in Confucian values of family and patriarchy, South Korea is fast becoming an open, modernized society with the world's highest concentration of Internet broadband users, a pop culture that has recently been breaking taboos left and right, and living patterns increasingly focusing on individual satisfaction.

As of 2004, 458 couples are getting divorced each day. The average age of the divorce is 41.3 years for men and 37.9 years for women.

Bride kidnapping

2008-03-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

Bride kidnapping

Bride kidnapping, also known as marriage by abduction or marriage by capture, is a form of marriage practiced in a few traditional cultures, in countries spanning Central Asia, the Caucasus region, parts of Africa, and among the Hmong in southeast Asia. In most countries, bride kidnapping is considered a sex crime, rather than a valid form of marriage. However, some versions of it may also be seen as falling along the continuum between forced marriage and arranged marriage.

1 Background and rationale
2 Africa
3 Central Asia
- 3.1 Ala kachuu
- 3.2 Role of the family
4 Catholic law
5 In history
6 In film
- 6.1 Features
- 6.2 Documentaries
7 In television
8 Bibliography
9 See also
10 References
11 External links

Background and rationale

In agricultural and patriarchal societies, where bride kidnapping is most common, children work for their family. A woman leaves her birth family, geographically and economically, when she marries, becoming instead a member of the groom's family. (See patrilocality for an anthropological explanation.) Due to this loss of labor, the women's families do not want their daughters to marry young, and demand economic compensation known as a bride price when they do leave them. This conflicts with the interests of men, who want to marry early, as marriage means an increase in social status, and the interests of the groom's family, who will gain another pair of hands for the family farm or business. Paradoxically, being "kidnapped" might also be in the interests of the woman in such societies, as her role in the society would preclude her from choosing a husband for herself, at the risk of being disowned or even killed. It may also be the only socially acceptable way for her to become a mother, a desirable and highly prized status for many women. Depending on the legal system under which they live, the consent of the woman may not be a factor in judging the validity of the marriage.

The mechanism of bride kidnappings varies depending on where it is taking place.

Africa

In Ethiopia and Rwanda it is quite brutal, where the man kidnaps the woman and rapes her. The family of the woman either then feels obliged to consent to the union, or is forced to when the kidnapper impregnates her, as no one else would marry a pregnant woman.

Central Asia

In Central Asia the practice is different. Bride kidnapping exists in Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, and Karakalpakstan. The young man decides he wishes to marry and asks his parents to pick him out a suitable bride, or is told by his parents that it is time he settled down and that they have found someone of the right background and attributes. (In this sense, it is similar to an arranged marriage, although the arranging is all on one side.) The prospective groom and his male relatives or friends or both abduct the girl (in the old nomadic days, on horseback; now often by car) and take her to the family home, where the older women of the family try to get her to accept the marriage. They may do this by pointing out the advantages of the union, such as the wealth of their smallholding, to show her what she would gain by joining their family. Some families will keep the girl hostage for several days to break her will. Others will let her go if she remains defiant; she may, for example, refuse to sit down or to eat, as a sign that she is refusing the proffered hospitality. During this period, the groom typically does not see the bride until she has agreed to marry or at least has agreed to stay. The kidnapped woman's family may also become involved in the process, either urging the woman to stay (particularly if the marriage is believed socially acceptable or advantageous for the prospective bride and her family), or opposing the marriage on various grounds and helping to liberate the woman.

While less violent than that practiced elsewhere, the essence of the process, in the model above, is still the same and in some cases does result in sexual violence. Such social stigma is attached to a refusal that the kidnapped woman usually feels that she has no choice but to agree, and some of those who refuse even commit suicide after the kidnapping [1]. The matter is somewhat confused by the local use of the term bride kidnap to reflect practices along a continuum, from forcible abduction and rape (and then, almost unavoidably, marriage), to something akin to an elopement arranged between the two young people, to which both sets of parents have to consent after the fact. Although the practice is illegal in Kyrgyzstan, bride kidnappers are rarely prosecuted, because many villages are de facto ruled by councils of elders following traditional cultural practices, away from the eyes of the state legal system. It was the Russian and later USSR colonizing powers that made the ancient practice of the nomads illegal, and so with the fall of the Soviet Union and the subsequent liberation of the Central Asian nations, many have harked back to old customs as a way of asserting cultural identity.

Ala kachuu

Despite its illegality, in many, primarily rural, areas bride kidnapping is still the accepted way of taking a wife. This act of ala kachuu (to take and flee) prevails to this day, despite modern social and moral standards. Women play an integral role in the process: the success of the kidnapping is dependant on her conduct while she is held hostage. If she truly does not wish to stay, she will not accept the family's advances. She may tell them that she has a boyfriend, or impart to them that she is not a virgin, which still carries a major social stigma. Many of these women have boyfriends and participate in dating, which can make the experience all the more traumatic. A couple may court for many months, but another suitor could still kidnap the young woman, as she is unmarried. The question, "What would you do if you were kidnapped?" is asked of many Kyrgyz women in their late teens and early twenties. While this may not be their preferred method of becoming engaged, a majority of them, consensual or nonconsensual, do end up married in this way. Ala kachuu is a tradition that has endured to the present day in Central Asia and is integral to their society and culture.

Role of the family

The families of both the bride and the groom play large roles in these arranged marriages. The groom's family, primarily the menfolk, decide who they want to kidnap and take as the bride. Often, rather than selecting a particular young woman to kidnap, they select a house; that way they can still kidnap one of the sisters if the woman they desire is not home ^[1]. Once at the home of the bride, they grab the woman and bring her back to the groom's house. The girl's family is usually also there, as they know about the kidnapping and encourage their loved one to accept the man as her husband and to stay with him. The woman can still leave the house, but her family usually does everything in their power to convince the girl to stay. The reason for this is that as women get older, the culture sees them as less desirable. Therefore, the family has no idea if she will still be able to find a husband if she does not accept this man. Since young women are obedient to their parents in Central Asia, they will stay with the husband. ^[2]

Catholic law

In Catholic canon law, the impediment of raptus specifically prohibits marriage between a woman abducted with intent to force her to marry, and her abductor, as long as the woman remains in the abductor's power.

In history

Marriage by capture was practiced in ancient cultures throughout the Mediterranean area. It is represented in mythology and history by the tribe of Benjamin in the Bible[2]; by the Greek hero Paris stealing the beautiful Helen of Troy from her husband Menelaus, thus triggering the Trojan War; and by The Rape of the Sabine Women by Romulus, the founder of Rome (parodied by English short-story writer Saki in The Schartz-Metterklume Method).

According to some sources, the honeymoon is a relic of marriage by capture, based on the practice of the husband going into hiding with his wife to avoid reprisals from her relatives, with the intention that the woman would be pregnant by the end of the month.

In film

Features

Bride capture has been displayed somewhat humorously in Pedro Almodovar's 1990 film ¡Átame! (Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!), starring Antonio Banderas and Victoria Abril. It is the underlying theme behind the Korean movie The Bow, as well as the Soviet comedy Kidnapping, Caucasian Style (Russian: Кавказская пленница, или Новые приключения Шурика). It featured in the Hollywood musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Bride capture also offers a honorable solution in the Italian comedy Seduced and Abandoned.

In the 2006 comedy Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, the eponymous fictional reporter Borat, played by British comedian/satirist Sacha Baron Cohen, attempts to kidnap actress Pamela Anderson in order to take her as his wife. He brings a "wedding sack" which he has made for the occasion, suggesting that such kidnappings are a tradition in his parody of Kazakhstan.

Documentaries

In 2005, a documentary titled Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan made by Petr Lom was presented at the UNAFF 2005 festival, and subsequently on PBS in the United States. The film met controversy in Kyrgyzstan because of ethical concerns about the filming of real kidnappings.

In television

In the BBC radio and television comedy series The League of Gentlemen, the character Papa Lazarou comes to the fictional town of Royston Vasey under the guise of a peg-seller to kidnap women by entering their homes, talking gibberish to them (Gippog) and persuading them to hand over their wedding rings. He 'names' them all 'Dave', and, after obtaining their rings, proclaims that they're "[his] wife now".

Bibliography

Barnes, R. H. “Marriage by Capture.” The Journal of the Royal Anthropological Institute, Vol. 5, No. 1. (March 1999), pp. 57-73.

Bates, Daniel G. “Normative and Alternative Systems of Marriage among the Yörük of Southeastern Turkey.” Anthropological Quarterly, 47:3 (Jul., 1974), pp. 270-287.

Handrahan, Lori. 2004. “Hunting for Women: Bride-Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan.” International Feminist Journal of Politics, 6:2 (June), 207–233.

Herzfeld, Michael “Gender Pragmatics: Agency, Speech, and Bride Theft in a Cretan

Mountain Village.” Anthropology 1985, Vol. IX: 25-44.

Kleinbach, Russell. “Frequency of non-consensual bride kidnapping in the Kyrgyz Republic.” International Journal of Central Asian Studies. Vol 8, No 1, 2003, pp 108–128.

Light, Nathan and Damira Imanalieva. “Performing Ala Kachuu: Marriage Strategies in the Kyrgyz Republic”.

——, Mehrigiul Ablezova and Medina Aitieva. “Kidnapping for marriage (ala kachuu) in a Kyrgyz village.” Central Asian Survey. (June 2005) 24(2), 191–202.

Pusurmankulova, Burulai. "Bride Kidnapping. Benign Custom Or Savage Tradition?" http://faculty.philau.edu/kleinbachr/freedom.htm under the auspices of Freedom House

Stross, Brian. “Tzeltal Marriage by Capture.” Anthropological Quarterly. 47:3 (July 1974), pp. 328-346.

Werner, Cynthia, “Women, marriage, and the nation-state: the rise of nonconsensual bride kidnapping in post-Soviet Kazakhstan,” in The Transformation of Central Asia. Pauline Jones Luong, ed. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 2004, pp. 59–89.

Arranged marriage

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Arranged marriage

"Marriage à-la-mode" by William Hogarth: a satire on arranged marriages and prediction of ensuing disaster

An arranged marriage is a marriage arranged by someone other than the persons getting married, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages are not uncommon in the Middle East, parts of Kentucky, and Tennessee. Other groups that practice this custom include the Unification Movement, and royal families.

Note that the term "arranged marriage" is used even if the parents have no direct involvement in selecting the spouse. The match could be selected by a matchmaking agent, matrimonials site, or trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as trusted relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.

1 Alternate uses of arranged marriage
2 Variations
- 2.1 A culture of arranged marriage
3 Factors considered in matchmaking
- 3.1 Caste
- 3.2 Immigration
4 Arguments for and against
- 4.1 Against
- 4.2 For
- 4.3 Issues common to both arranged and love marriage
5 References
6 See also

Alternate uses of arranged marriage

The pattern of arranged marriage be employed for other reasons beside the formation of a promising new family unit. In such marriages, typically economic or legal reasons take precedence over the goal of selecting a well-matched couple. Though critics are not always specific, criticism of arranged marriage usually targets abuses such as forced marriage and child marriage.

In a forced marriage, the parents choose their son's or daughter's future spouse with no input from the son or daughter. This form of arranged marriage is rare in the modern Western world, but not quite as rare in some other parts of the world. Occasionally, even if the son or daughter disapproves of the choice, the marriage takes place regardless, overriding their objections. In some societies, in order to ensure cooperation the parents may threaten the child with punishment, or in rare cases, disinheritance and death. Motivating factors for such a marriage tend to be social or economic, i.e., the interests of the family or community goals served by the marriage are seen as paramount, and the preference of the individual is considered insignificant.

In a child marriage, children, or even infants, are married. The married children often live apart with their respective families until well after puberty. Child marriages are typically made for economic or political reasons. In rural India and several other countries, the requirement of providing a dowry for daughters is generally acknowledged to be a contributing factor to female infanticide.

In a shotgun wedding, the groom is forced to marry the bride due to unplanned pregnancy (or other reasons). It is given this colloquial name from the traditional method of force used; holding a shotgun to the groom's head until he is married. This can also be classified as a forced marriage. Although it is worth noting that the concept came about before the invention of the shotgun. Laws of Old Testament Israel said that an unengaged couple caught in extramartial sex were forced into marriage by law.^[1] A reason is never given in the text, but it is likely predicated on the text's specification that the woman was a virgin; no longer being a virgin, it would be difficult for her to find a marriage, and so her sexual partner must marry her provide for her well-being. Alternatively, it could be based on family honor, i.e. it was shameful for her to have had relations without being married, and it would be all the more shameful if she had a child out of wedlock.

This was done to protect the families from sexually transmitted disease.

Coercion to marry is commonly considered a violation of fundamental human rights in most Western societies, primarily because of its usurpation of a choice that, in most Western thought, belongs solely to the individuals involved. People can "find themselves stuck in marriages with persons decidedly not of their own choosing...whom they may find personally repulsive."^[2]

A further condemnation of the practice of arranging marriage for economic reasons comes from Edlund and Lagerlöf (2004) who argued that a love marriage is more effective for the promotion of accumulation of wealth and societal growth.^[3]

Variations

Abuses aside, it is ordinarily a fundamental tenet of arranged marriage that the union is a choice made voluntarily by the two people involved.^{[citation needed]}. The main variation in procedure between arranged marriages is in the nature and duration of the time from meeting to engagement.

In an introduction only arranged marriage, the parents may only introduce their son or daughter to a potential spouse. The parents may briefly talk to the parents of the prospective spouse. From that point on, it is up to the children to manage the relationship and make a choice. There is no set time period. This is still common in the rural parts of North/South America, and especially in India. The same pattern also appears in Japan. It should be noted that this open-ended process takes considerably more courage on the part of the parents, as well as the prospective spouses, in comparison to a fixed time-limit arranged marriage. Especially women, but also men, fear the stigma and emotional trauma of going through a courtship and then being rejected.^{[citation needed]}

To contrast, a traditional arranged marriage may be finalized in the first meeting. The parents or matchmaker select the pair, there is no possibility of courtship, and only limited conversation between the prospective partners is permitted (while the parents are present); then the prospective partners are expected to decide whether to proceed with the marriage. The parents may exert considerable pressure to encourage the potential bride or bridegroom to agree to the match. The parents may wish the match to proceed because the son or daughter is beginning to engage in courtship (and the parents disapprove of courtship)^[4], the parents believe that they know best what kind of partner will make a happy marriage, the parents seek to fulfill the desire for parental control, or for other reasons.

A more moderate and flexible procedure known as a modern arranged marriage is gaining in popularity. Parents choose several possible candidates or employ a Matrimonials Sites. The parents will then arrange a meeting with the family of the prospective mate, confining their role to responsible facilitators and well-wishers. Less pressure to agree to the match is exerted by the parents in comparison to a traditional arranged marriage.

In some cases, a prospective partner may be selected by the son or daughter instead of by the parents or by a matchmaker. In such cases, the parents will either disapprove of the match and forbid the marriage or, just as likely, approve the match and agree to proceed with the marriage. Such cases are distinct from a love marriage because courtship is curtailed or absent and the parents retain the prerogative to forbid the match.

A culture of arranged marriage

In cultures where dating, singles' bars, etc., are not prevalent, arranged marriages perform a similar function--bringing together people who might otherwise not have met. In such cultures, arranged marriage is viewed as the norm and preferred by young adults. Even where courtship practices are becoming fashionable, young adults tend to view arranged marriage as an option they can fall back on if they are unable or unwilling to spend the time and effort necessary to find a spouse on their own.^{[citation needed]} In such cases, the parents become welcome partners in a hunt for marital bliss. Further, in several cultures, the last duty of a parent to his or her son or daughter is to see that they pass through the marital rites.

In some cultures, arranged marriage is a tradition handed down through many generations. Parents who take their son or daughter's marriage into their own hands have themselves been married by the same process. Many parents, and children likewise, feel pressure from the community to conform, and in certain cultures a love marriage or even courtship is considered a failure on the part of the parents to maintain control over their child^{[citation needed]}. In such cultures, children are brought up with these cultural assumptions do not feel stifled. They experience them as natural boundaries.

Parents in some communities fear social and/or religious stigma if their child is not married by a certain age.^{[citation needed]} Several cultures deem the son or daughter less likely to find a suitable partner if they are past a certain age, and consider it folly to try to marry them off at that stage.^{[citation needed]}

In these societies, including China, the intragenerational relationship of the family is much more valued than the marital relationship. The whole purpose of the marriage is to have a family.^[5]

Factors considered in matchmaking

Although matchmaking primarily on an economic or legal basis is harshly criticized, such considerations are often factors of secondary importance and significantly influence the rank order of a potential spouse.

Some of these factors in some order of priority may be taken into account for the purpose of matchmaking:

Reputation of the family

Vocation: For a groom, the profession of doctor, accountant, lawyer, engineer, or scientist are traditionally valued as excellent spouse material. More recently, any profession commanding relatively high income is also given preference. Vocation is less important for a bride but it is not uncommon for two people of the same vocation to be matched.

Wealth: Families holding substantial assets may prefer to marry to another wealthy family.

Appearance: There may be a preference that beauty and weight be comparable. In India the bride is expected to be as fair-skinned as possible^{[citation needed]}.

Religion: The religious and spiritual beliefs can play a large role in finding a suitable spouse.

Pre-existing medical conditions: Two persons with a physical deformity or disability who are otherwise marriageable may be matched.

Horoscope: Numerology and the positions of stars at birth is often used in Indian culture to predict the success of a particular match. This is sometimes expressed as a percentage, for example, a 70% match. Horoscope becomes a determining factor is one of the partners is Mângalik (lit., negatively influenced by Mars).

Dietary preference: Vegetarian or omnivore (often automatically determined by the caste among Hindus)

Height: Typically the groom should be taller than the bride.

Age difference: Typically the groom should be older than the bride.

Other factors: City of residence, education level, etc.

Caste

Among most Indian Hindus, the hereditary system of caste (Hindi: jâti) is an extremely important factor in arranged marriage. Arranged marriages, and parents, almost always require that the married persons should be of the same caste. Sometimes inter-caste marriage is one of the principal reasons of familial rejection or anger with the marriage. The proof can be seen by the numerous Indian marriage websites on the Worldwide Web, most of which are by caste. Even within the caste, there is obligation, followed strictly by many communities, to marry (their son/daughter) outside the gotra (sub-caste or clan). E.g., most Vaishyas (the business/merchant caste) prohibit marriage within the same gotra, because being of the same lineage the spouses would be though of (almost) as brother and sister. It must however be noted that modern India, being a secular democracy, does not prohibit inter-caste or intra-gotra marriage (by the Hindu Marriage Act), but neither does it prohibit the caste system completely (only caste discrimination is prohibited). Caste Associations are still very much legal (sometimes they call themselves by more acceptable names, like samâj, lit., society). Recently, one of such caste associations fined its member (a state legislator) for permitting his son's inter-caste marriage: A Congress MLA from Chhattisgarh had to pay a fine of Rs 24,000 to the community he belongs to following his son’s inter-caste marriage.^[6]

On the other hand, many Indian families who consider the caste system as an artificial excuse for social inequity have the opposite preference. They prefer to marry persons of differing caste and tend to avoid matches within the same caste. It is believed that intercaste marriages weaken the caste system and thus reduce social inequality caused by the caste stratification. Such families are also often open to marriages across national borders. But even among them are some families who, if of the upper castes, will not accept marriage with the so-called low castes (like dalits)

Immigration

In few arranged marriages, one potential spouse may reside in a wealthy country and the other in a poorer country. For example, the man may be an American of Indian ancestry and the woman may be an Indian living in India who will move to America after the marriage.^{[citation needed]} Alternately, the man or woman may be a citizen of the United States of America and the other person is in Russia or another country and is willing to move to the USA after the marriage. The arrangement may be accomplished by a business created for such a purpose^{[citation needed]}.

Positive points

The parents of the wealthy man may feel secure knowing that their son is to marry a person of their own country and traditional culture rather a woman corrupted by Western influences.
The parents of the bride hope that their daughter enjoys a higher standard of living.
Couples and their parents need not have to cope up with differing cultural and social backgrounds.

Negative points

Couples may be incompatible due to cultural differences. One spouse may retain traditional values while the other spouse has accepted practices of the country he or she is living in.^[7]
The time window available for the entire process is narrow. Prospective brides must be lined up for a series of meetings when the man is able to take leave to travel to his home country. The decision must be finalised and the marriage registered before he leaves so that visa formalities for his wife can be commenced immediately. Sometimes two or three visits (over as many years) are required to sort out all the legal details.
The two parties cannot directly meet without travelling to the other country. The upfront cost increases the pressure to make a decision yet less is known about the prospective mate because of the great distance separating the two.
Limited choice: In some cases, the parents may mandate that the bride must originate from their son's home country.

Arguments for and against

Against

Amongst the arguments against arranged marriage, the most prominent are:

Arranged marriage may prove loveless. Some people dislike the prospect of being married to someone they do not already love. Partners in an arranged marriage are usually less likely to divorce for cultural reasons, so if the marriage does not work well, it can be a trap, particularly for the female partner, who is often disempowered (socially and economically).

Individuals are the best arbiters of their own lives. Arranged marriage can be a great denial of individual rights—of the self. This argument is often rebutted with the substantial asymmetry of knowledge about marriage between the person wishing to get married and the third-party. The parents or matchmaker likely have been married for more than 20 years whereas the person wishing to be married has no experience (at least for a first marriage).

In developed countries arranged marriages are often used as a form of colonisation. Arranged marriages are often used by people who have not integrated into the host nation as a way to marry and maintain what they see as their culture even though they may be second or third generation descendants of the original immigrants. This can lead to racial tension in the host country.

In case of countries like India, arranged marriages almost always encourage the continued existence of the caste system in the society.

For

Proponents of arranged marriage believe that individuals can be too easily influenced by the effects of love to make a logical choice.^[8]

Reduction or elimination of incompatibilities: Marital incompatibility has been found to be the major reason for divorce^{[citation needed]}, some Asian writers (especially in India) suggest that arranged marriages might promote a higher probability of success because they tend to match persons with a compatible, but not necessary identical, profile (refer to the factors considered in matchmaking). The parents or matchmaker may draw from the experience of typically at least 20 years of married life to inform their judgment.

Addresses female anxiety: Studies have found that men are more eager for sex than are women. Women are more likely to set limits on such activity.^[9] With the assurance of a socially sanctioned marriage, women are less anxious. The new couple may engage in sexual intimacy within, perhaps, 10 days after the first introduction. Men need less patience and face less frustration.

Low expectations: Neither the man nor the woman knows quite what to expect, and there is a lot of understandable trepidation on both sides. However, this often works out well because things turn out to be better than expected.^{[citation needed]} Because after all, most incompatibilities were eliminated by the matchmaker and due diligence confirmed the suitability of the prospective spouse.

Lower divorce rates: Many proponents of arranged marriages point to the 0% to 7% percent divorce rate for arranged marriages in contrast with a 55% divorce rate for the United States.^[10] Although the numbers differ dramatically, this is an under-researched area and there are many possible explanations for the difference. For example, the divorce rate for love marriages in India is much lower than the divorce rate in the United States although the divorce rate for arranged marriages is even lower.^{[citation needed]} Perhaps the traditional culture of India exerts pressure on couples to stay married, even if the partners selected each other by a process of courtship.

Issues common to both arranged and love marriage

Although cultures have built several safeguards against fraud (such as the family's reputation being at stake), there are instances where a key fact is left out during the process of the marriage, only to be learned afterwards. An example might be if one of the spouses has a medical condition that is not disclosed before marriage. Although the marriage may not have occurred had that condition been disclosed prior to marriage, it is very difficult to leave afterwards and there may be no legal recourse.

Parents and other relatives who have been involved in the marriage arrangements have an emotional investment in the success of the marriage and form a valuable support group to the couple^{[citation needed]}. If there are problems in the marriage, well-meaning elders may intervene to sort things out. Of course, this is a two-edged sword — outside interference can often make things worse between a couple.

Bridal march

The Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner's opera Lohengrin

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